Bury My Heart In The Cold

Two weeks until Sinister hits theaters and in the meantime, check this out:

Guillermo del Toro.  Two little kids abandoned in the wild.  One vicious, maternal ghost.  Jessica Chastain with black hair.  Mama isn’t scheduled for release until January but I can wait.  Something tells me it’ll be worth it.

~Nikki

2012 Emmy’s LIVEBLOG

Howdy, fellow TV junkies! ‘Tis time for the liveblogging to begin…

Look at this wine I’m not drinking

10:56 – Aw hell, bitches, I’m outta this game. It was not a livevlog without strife, as silly wordpress decided to stop working for a half hour or so, along with what might be the worst Emmy’s ever. Ahh well, night, all! ‘Til the next collective viewing event!

10:56 – YOU’VE. GOT. TO BE. KIDDING. #fuckmodernfamily

10:48 – Well, Nikki already went to bed as she is WAYYYY older than me, but she’s gonna be mighty happy to see that Homeland won. #Nikkipicks

10:33 – ABC needs to stop telling me to tweet congrats to winners, as Twitter is BROKEN and has been for the last hour.

10:31 – Goddamn, Julianne Moore’s husband is sexy. She totes deserves this award, btw. Her speech is terribly annoying though. She sounds like a kindergarten teacher.

10:29 – I have few thoughts on miniseries stuff. I love Danny Strong though for being on Gilmore Girls long ago, and now being this political writer who writes awesome shit for HBO.

10:22 – Um. I’m seriously uncomfortable.

10:18 – Seriously, I hate Twitter right now. #firstworldproblems

10:11 – Sorry! WordPress AND Twitter decided to crash at the exact same time! Rock on! Just watched Jessica Lange win for AHS. Deserved. She’s the American Helen Mirren, how the hell do these women do it?!

9:26 – Josh Groban, rules, forever. And oh my god, I couldn’t love Jimmy Kimmel anymore. I just couldn’t.

9:25 – I wish I watched Boardwalk Empire. But I really love Martha Plimpton’s dress.

9:18 – Yay for Maggie Smth!!! Boo for her not being there :( :( :(

9:15 – Tracy Morgan looks super bloated. And sparkly. Homeland wins writing, yay! #Nikkipicks “Bang on and hope something dribbles out” – Julian Fellowes (TWSS!)

9:10 – Cinderella on blu ray? That one can stay in the vault, thanks. I want Sleeping Beauty and 101 Dalmations.

9:05 – DOWNTON TIME!!!! I know Aaron Paul deserves it, but shit, I love seeing the Downton cast lookin’ all spiffy. :) … PS: His speech was stupendous.

9:04 – Could Claire Danes be any more luminous? Ah, put a baby in her, answer is YES.

9:02 – Drama time. Time for a MONTAGE.

9:00  - Just could not. give. a. fuck. about reality host.

8:59 – Seth, did you hear that? That’s my panties getting thrown across the room. To quote McCarthy, tonight’s the night. ;)

8:49 – Oh jesus, it’s reality time. I’m gonna go make a bagel.

8:46 – These comedic ladies are legends. Elaine Benes is the bomb. And Veep is a damn fine show. She’s so verklempt.. I love it. Even though Nikki is ready to throw her TV out the window!

8:45 – Edie Falco looks like LInda Hamilton in T2. YES YES YES YES YES JULIA LOUIS DREYFUS!!!!!!!!!!! #Anniepicks #Nikkisgonnabesosad

8:44 – Steven Colbert, are you trying to get onto my island? Not so fast there, buddy.

8:38 – Oh Melissa McCarthy, you are freaking geniuinely hilarious. Wait, JON CRYER. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? These awards suck ass. At least he was rightly flummoxed.

8:37 – Oh my GOD I am SO TIRED OF THIS MODERN FAMILY SHIT. ENOUGH!

8:33 – FUCK YOU, STEVE LEVITAN

8:31 – I’m wondering why I used to love Matthew Perry. Hmm. Definitely still loving Jimmy Fallon though. Desperately.

8:26 – ALRIGHT JULIE WE GET IT. YOU’RE LUCKY AND BLESSED. I’m gonna go throw up now.

8:24 – I’m not exaggerating when I say that Julie Bowen is the least deserving of every woman in that category (her dress is fierce though). How the fuck does this shit happen? Naggy wives on sitcoms are the worst.

8:23 – Oh Kat Dennings, you’re a goddess. Truly.

8:22 – I just need to say it. I really, really, REALLY wanna bang Jimmy Kimmel.

8:20 – Very deserved, my friend. Louis CK is a genius. And probably fucking rad as hell.

8:19 – Jim Parsons and Zooey Deschanel are adorbs.

8:13 – Well, if it had to be one of ‘em, I’m glad it’s Eric Stonestreet. Thumbs up to his speech. I love when people honestly seem grateful.

8:11 – Amy Poehler looks STUNNING. Apparently, divorce is agreeing with her. Oh fucking hell, Modern Family. Come on, Bill Hader!

8:09 – Oh here we go, although this comedy montage is actually cracking me up. Veep had better win. #Anniepicks

8:06 – Kimmel is doing a kickass job. He always seems so calm. Woah, a Luck dead horse joke. Jon Hamm simply CANNOT LOOK BAD. He CAN’T!

8:05 – I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Elizabeth Moss’s new hairstyle. AHHHHHHHH DOWNTON DOWNTON DOWNTON SIGHTINGGGGGGGG (Bates and Anna! Bon Bon!)

8:03 – Ellen and Jimmy and all those awesome people in the shitter: meh.

8:02 – Lena Dunham’s fearlessness is getting old. But her new haircut is CUTECUTECUTE!!

7:58 – Could they push Modern Family anymore? Gag. We hate that show and are going to be vocal about it, people. Please respect our free speech.

~Annie & Nikki

If I Had My Way… (Nikki’s Pick For The EMMYs)

Another year has passed, another season of television gone by and another round of Emmys to watch, criticize, celebrate and get indignant over.  That’s right!  The Emmys are on tomorrow night and yes, of course, Annie and I will liveblog during the show.  As before, we’ll begin about a half-hour before it does and refresh every time we have something to say (which is typically quite often), with the latest at the top.  Please stop by, leave a comment, offer your opinion and otherwise enjoy our ranting.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  We’re still a good 30 hours away and to whet your awards show appetite, I thought I’d give you a little preview by listing the nominees and my own personal preferences for winners.  As always, there will be disappointments, maybe even some massive let-downs, and hopefully a few surprises.  But, if I could have my way, this is what it’d look like:

Best Drama
”Boardwalk Empire”
”Breaking Bad”
“Downton Abbey”
”Mad Men”
”Homeland”
”Game of Thrones”

My pick: “Homeland”

Best Actor — Drama

Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”
Damien Lewis, “Homeland”
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”
Timothy Olyphant, “Justified”
Hugh Bonneville, “Downton Abbey”

My pick: Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad” (I’d also be totally happy with Damien Lewis of “Homeland” or Michael C. Hall of “Dexter”)

Best Supporting Actor — Drama
Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
Giancarlo Esposito, “Breaking Bad”
Jared Harris, “Mad Men”
Brendan Coye, “Downton Abbey”
Jim Carter, “Downton Abbey”
Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad”

My pick: Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad” (The fuck?!  Walton Goggins of “Justified” deserves not only a nomination but the goddamn win!!)

Best Supporting Actress — Drama

Archie Punjabi, “The Good Wife”
Anna Gunn, “Breaking Bad”
Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”
Joanne Froggat, “Downton Abbey”
Christina Hendrix, “Mad Men”
Christine Baranski, “Good Wife”

My pick: Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”

Best Actress — Drama

Claire Danes, “Homeland”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men”
Kathy Bates, “Harry’s Law”
Glenn Close, “Damages”
Michelle Dockery, “Downton Abby”

My pick: Claire Danes, “Homeland” (By far. Danes not winning would be the greatest injustice since O.J.’s acquittal.)

Best Comedy

“Girls”
“Modern Family”
“30 Rock”
”Veep”
“The Big Bang Theory”
“Curb Your Enthusiasm”

My pick: “Girls” (The show has balls, what can I say.)

Best Actress — Comedy
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Lena Dunham, “Girls”
Zooey Deschanel, “New Girl”
Julia Louis Dreyfus, “Veep”
Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”
Melissa McCarthy, “Mike and Molly”
Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”

My pick: Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation” (Poehler not getting this award would be a GREATER injustice than O.J.’s acquittal.  Seriously.)

Best Actor — Comedy

Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”
Louis C.K., “Louie”
Jon Cryer, “Two and a Half Men”
Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”
Jim Parsons, “Big Bang Theory”
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”

My pick: Louis C.K., “Louie”

Best Supporting Actress — Comedy

Miayim Balik, “Big Bang Theory”
Meritt Weaver, “Nurse Jackie”
Julie Bowen, “Modern Family”
Kristen Wiig, “Saturday Night Live”
Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family”
Kathryn Joosten, “Desperate Housewives”

My pick: Kristen Wiig, “Saturday Night Live” (Because “Modern Family” is tired and those bitches were never the funny ones.)

Best Supporting Actor — Comedy

Max Greenfield, “New Girl”
Bill Hader, “Saturday NIght Live”
Ed O’Neill, “Modern Family”
Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”
Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “Modern Family”

My pick: Bill Hader, “Saturday Night Live” (Fuck you, “Modern Family.”)

Best Television Movie or Miniseries

“Sherlock”
”Heminway and Gelhorn”
“American Horror Story”
“Luther”
”Hatfields & McCoys”
”Game Change”

My pick: “Sherlock” (“Sherlock!”  “Sherlock!”  “Sherlock!”)

Lead Actress — TV Movie or Miniseries

Julianne Moore, “Game Change”
Nicole Kidman, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Connie Britton, “American Horror Story”
Ashley Judd, “Missing”
Emma Thompson, “The Song of Lunch”

My pick: Don’t care.  Of these, I only watched AHS and I thought Britton sucked.  So, anyone but Connie Britton, I guess.

Lead Actor — TV Movie or Miniseries

Woody Harrelson, “Game Change”
Clive Owen, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock”
Idris Elba, “Luther”
Kevin Costner, “Hatfields & McCoys”
Bill Paxton, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock” (I love you, Idris Elba in a completely non-platonic way, but Cumberbatch deserves this.)

Supporting Actress — TV Movie or Miniseries
Sarah Paulson, “Game Change”
Francis Conroy, “American Horror Story”
Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”
Judy Davis, “Page Eight”
Mare Winningham, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”

Supporting Actor — TV Movie or Miniseries
Ed Harris, “Game Change”
Dennis O’Hare, “American Horror Story”
David Straitharn, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Martin Freeman, “Sherlock”
Tom Berenger, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Martin Freeman, “Sherlock” (Freeman not winning in this category will make O.J.’s acquittal look as undeserving as a pet adoption.)

Variety Show

“The Daily Show”
“The Colbert Report”
“Real Time with Bill Maher”
“Saturday Night Live”
”Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”

My pick: “Real Time with Bill Maher”

Reality Competition
”So You Think You Can Dance”
“The Amazing Race”
“Dancing with the Stars”
“Top Chef”
“Project Runway”
“The Voice”

My pick: The only competition worth watching is “The Sing-Off” and it’s not even nominated.   So, yeah, I could give a shit.

Reality Competition — Host

Cat Deely, “So You Think You Can Dance”
Phil Keoghan, “The Amazing Race”
Ryan Seacrest, “American Idol”
Betty White, “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers”
Tom Berengon, “Dancing with the Stars”

My pick: THIS SHOULDN’T EVEN BE A FUCKING CATEGORY.

Best Animated Series

“Futurama”
”The Simpsons”
“American Dad”
”Bob’s Burgers”
“The Penguins of Madagascar”

My pick: Don’t care.

See you tomorrow at 7:30pm!

~Nikki

Tell Me How You Like It

You may have heard (or read) me mention that I happen to work with a group of people who are all significantly older than I.  I’m not necessarily a spring chicken, but the next youngest person at my current place of employment has got a full 20 years on me.  And not only that, they generally seem to act old, even for their age.  There is a noticeable disdain toward technology, which leads me to today’s topic: eReaders.

I’ll admit I was hesitant to jump on the bandwagon simply because it seemed an extra expense, a luxury that didn’t merit its cost in my household.  (I still feel this way about the iPad.  A cool new toy?  Sure.  But what can it do that my laptop and my hubby’s smart phone can’t?)  I did eventually buy a Kindle and in all honesty, I kind of love it.  Allow me to clarify: I read a lot and I certainly have not forsaken my beloved paperback.  But the eReader has its place.  I also travel any chance I get and the Kindle makes reading on an airplane exponentially easier, especially since I’m often reading more than one book at a time and it saves me the cumbersome task of stuffing my carry-on with multiple books or the nearly impossible chore of choosing just one (a choice I will, inevitably, regret).  Not to mention it is sublimely easy to delete a book that I have no desire to read again, which, unfortunately, covers the majority of them.  No old, long-unopened books cluttering up the shelves, collecting dust.

On the other hand, the books I do fall in love with, the ones I want to read over and over until every word is committed to memory, until their spines break and the pages feel onion skin-thin beneath my finger tips, those books I buy genuine paperback copies of.  In a way, the eReader has made the paper book that much more valuable.  I only buy one if it’s a book I love, like a prize.  The paper book has become precious, reserved for those words I so adore, I need a physical copy of them in my home.

I know many who disagree, who feel there is no way to read other than to hold a book in your hands, turning the pages as you go, straining your eyes in the dark, cherishing every little coffee stain for the memory it invokes.  Some who feel books just aren’t real if they aren’t made of paper.  Which, of course, leads me to this month’s poll.  I want to know how you, dear readers, feel about the format of your reading material.

~Nikki

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

I saw Finding Nemo in 3D this weekend (glorious I tell ya, glorious), and was treated to some lovely kiddie flicks comin’ your way. A couple of them seemed so awesome, I shall share:

Wreck-it Ralph (11.2.12)

This looks PRECIOUS AND AWESOME. Life lessons, hilarity, and video games! And a saaweet vocal cast. John C. Reilly, you are so money. And I’m sorry, “Some Nights” was MADE for a trailer montage. I think this movie looks so awesome, re-watching the trailer for this post had me giddy.

Monster’s Inc 3D (12.19.12)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!!!! Monster’s Inc. is in my top-5 favorite Pixar films, so to find that it’s being re-released in the third dimension was music to my ears. I love love love love this flick. I can’t wait to watch the door-flying sequence with the big goofy glasses on. I’m sure this is also a huge marketing ploy for the sequel, Monsters University, but with the quantity of joy it’s gonna bring me, I hardly care.

Rise of the Guardians (11.21.12)

I’ll admit, this one looks a tad goofy. All of the mythical childhood “legends” coming together to save the world, or something?? When they flashed “from the makers of How To Train Your Dragon” across the screen, they caught my attention, and then the RIDONKULOUSLY STUNNING ANIMATION held it there. It might not look like much on your computer screen, but the 3D trailer blew out my eyeballs.

Guess I’m gonna be seeing a lottt of movies this holiday season. :)

~Annie

Ridin’ Through This World All Alone

Looking out my window, I see cloudy, near-autumn skies and a few decaying leaves scattered about the lawn and I can’t help but think that fall is nearly here.  It’s my favorite of all seasons for many reasons, one of which is the return of good television.  Case in point: Sons of Anarchy has officially returned to Tuesday night.

The end of season 4 left us disappointed that Clay somehow survived being shot by Opie and sad for Jax (but happy for ourselves) that he had been forced, essentially, to stay in Charming and take Clay’s seat as President of SAMCRO due to the surprise reveal (not terribly surprising) that Danny Trejo is really a CIA agent.  Oh yeah, and Tig killed the daughter of some big shot gun runner, a leader among the 9ers, the gang he believed to be responsible for shooting Clay.  He meant to kill Leroy, the girl’s boyfriend, but hit the wrong person in his blind rage.  A seriously bonehead move.

Okay, so now that we’re all caught up, let’s get back to the matter at hand.  Season 5 opens up with a healing but still frail Clay, now separated from Gemma who seems to be spiraling downward, since the very first scene shows her drunkenly boning a Hispanic pimp, played by none other than the talented and weirdly charming Jimmy Smits.  She’s drinking too much, smoking too much weed and, as always, sparring with Tara, who has opted to put her kids in day care rather than leave them with grandma.  Things between Jax and Opie are tense but not totally ruined and Bobby, now released from jail as part of the negotiation Jax has reached with Trejo’s character, is stepping in as VP since Opie is taking a much-earned break from the club.  Poor Ope, the man has lost damn near his whole family to the club.  I’d have turned my back on them long ago.

Harold Perrineau is another exciting addition to the show as Damon Pope, the man whose daughter Tig killed and one cold, calculating crime lord.  Sutter wasted no time setting him up as a true villain; we’re one episode in and already Pope exacted his revenge on Tig by forcing him to watch as his daughter burned to death trapped in a hole in the earth with a few dead, dismembered bodies.  Like I said, not a minute wasted.

The episode ends with Jax and Chibbs on the lam from charges of murder and Tara smoking a joint while ignoring her crying child.  Me thinks a habit might be in the making.  Opie places a “For Sale” sign on his bike and walks away from SAMCRO while Juice and Happy sit idly by.  Meanwhile, Unser, who has been taking care of Clay’s pet bird and helping Gemma pack his crap and move him out, is beaten to shit by a few unknown men who’ve broken into Gemma’s house, one of whom wears a prosthetic leg.  Hmm.

Yes, the first episode, running an hour and a half in length, has jump-started the season with promises of betrayal, conflict and the usual sex, violence and rock-n-roll.  I’ve read before that Sutter has a 7 season story arc planned for the series and right now, at the start of season 5, I can’t imagine what tricks he has in store.

Unsolved mystery: What’s going on with Otto?  Did he dodge the death penalty for ratting on Bobby?  Only Jax and Bobby (as far as we know) know that he gave Bobby up to the Feds.  Have they turned their backs on him?  Cut him off from SAMCRO?  Hell, is the man still alive?

Body Count = 5: Leroy, Darnell (that poor schmuck who tried to shoot Jax and then took a bullet in the head from the guy who’d instructed him to do so), Tig’s daughter, Dawn, the doctor(?) who’d checked her smoldering remains for signs of life, and Detective Goodman of the Oakland PD.

Favorite line: “Apparently it was a suicide.  Climbed into the trunk and shot himself 10 times.” -Bobby Elvis

See you next week.

~Nikki

A Captain Picard interlude…

I was gonna write a review of the mediocre new flick The Words but came across this little nugget of awesome during my endless daily interwebz surfing and figured it deserved some recognition.

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this ’round these parts but I’m a huge Star Trek fan (Trekker, Trekkie, whatever the hell you want to call me, I’m cool with it). Star Trek: The Next Generation, to be exact. So yes, my favorite Captain is Jean-Luc Picard, played by the elegant, the Shakespearean, Professor freakin’ X: Sir Patrick Stewart. (I have planned on writing a Star Trek-love post, but it’s on that back-burner, which is probably going to start a grease fire soon, as it’s overloaded).

The point of this post is based on the fact that last week, I discovered this classy Brit has a freakin’ Twitter account. @SirPatStew. And he actually tweets, like, a lot. Well, this evening he tweeted this hilarious (and TRUE) fortune cookie wisdom-bomb:

 

 

 

 

OMG and LOL, am I right? The fact that a Starfleet Captain, X-Man, and intellectual Brit could also be getting butt-fucked by the same Time Warner Cable succubus Beelzebub that has sodomized me many a time, is like, beyond comprehension. I thought famous people didn’t have to deal with cable companies??! They had some sort of upper-tier level package that mere commoners just aren’t privy to? I guess, the answer is NO, this company is SO FUCKING SHITE they even treat famous celebs like trash. What makes this EVEN BETTER are the HILARIOUS responses the man (and TWC) have received about this. I wish I could make a scrapbook. But since that ain’t happening, and screen-capping gets old after a while, I’ma copy and paste some of my favorites below. Feast, my friends, upon the wit (FYI: some of this shit will only make sense to other Trekkies):

  • “Pat, DM me if you want a quick primer on bittorrent. Problem solved.”
  • “So the borg couldn’t end you, but a day and half with TimeWarner and suddenly resistance is futile.”
  • “Even Captain Picard! RT”
  • “And this is coming from a man who played a man who beat the Borg.”
  • ” even worse, @twcable_nyc then asked if you saw 5 lights…”
  • @TWCable_NYC Do you realize that geek god @SirPatStew just tweeted displeasure with you? Might want to get on that.”
  • “They wouldn’t “Make it So”???”
  • “Ferengi network. Not surprising.”
  • @SirPatStew You just caused a @TWCable_NYC public relations person to lose the will to live.”
  • “My sympathies, but at least they treat all of us (those who have been knighted and those who haven’t) the same way!”
  • “So if the Borg had really wanted to win, they should have had a Time Warner Cable representative?”
  • “DirecTV. Make it so.” <—–My personal favorite, as I love my DirecTV. :)
  • “Shouldn’t have left the Enterprise; Earth sucks sometimes.”
  • “Unfortunately I fear we have a long way to go before we get the efficiency of the Enterprise.”
  • “Hook a captain UP”
  • “Don’t give up! They cannot break you! There are FOUR lights! :-)”
  • “so this is how Marvel kills off Professor X :(“
  • “That’s the saddest (most depressing) tweet I’ve ever seen from a starship captain.”

And that has been your Captain Picard interlude for the evening.

:) Annie