2012 Emmy’s LIVEBLOG

Howdy, fellow TV junkies! ‘Tis time for the liveblogging to begin…

Look at this wine I’m not drinking

10:56 – Aw hell, bitches, I’m outta this game. It was not a livevlog without strife, as silly wordpress decided to stop working for a half hour or so, along with what might be the worst Emmy’s ever. Ahh well, night, all! ‘Til the next collective viewing event!

10:56 – YOU’VE. GOT. TO BE. KIDDING. #fuckmodernfamily

10:48 – Well, Nikki already went to bed as she is WAYYYY older than me, but she’s gonna be mighty happy to see that Homeland won. #Nikkipicks

10:33 – ABC needs to stop telling me to tweet congrats to winners, as Twitter is BROKEN and has been for the last hour.

10:31 – Goddamn, Julianne Moore’s husband is sexy. She totes deserves this award, btw. Her speech is terribly annoying though. She sounds like a kindergarten teacher.

10:29 – I have few thoughts on miniseries stuff. I love Danny Strong though for being on Gilmore Girls long ago, and now being this political writer who writes awesome shit for HBO.

10:22 – Um. I’m seriously uncomfortable.

10:18 – Seriously, I hate Twitter right now. #firstworldproblems

10:11 – Sorry! WordPress AND Twitter decided to crash at the exact same time! Rock on! Just watched Jessica Lange win for AHS. Deserved. She’s the American Helen Mirren, how the hell do these women do it?!

9:26 – Josh Groban, rules, forever. And oh my god, I couldn’t love Jimmy Kimmel anymore. I just couldn’t.

9:25 – I wish I watched Boardwalk Empire. But I really love Martha Plimpton’s dress.

9:18 – Yay for Maggie Smth!!! Boo for her not being there :( :( :(

9:15 – Tracy Morgan looks super bloated. And sparkly. Homeland wins writing, yay! #Nikkipicks “Bang on and hope something dribbles out” – Julian Fellowes (TWSS!)

9:10 – Cinderella on blu ray? That one can stay in the vault, thanks. I want Sleeping Beauty and 101 Dalmations.

9:05 – DOWNTON TIME!!!! I know Aaron Paul deserves it, but shit, I love seeing the Downton cast lookin’ all spiffy. :) … PS: His speech was stupendous.

9:04 – Could Claire Danes be any more luminous? Ah, put a baby in her, answer is YES.

9:02 – Drama time. Time for a MONTAGE.

9:00  – Just could not. give. a. fuck. about reality host.

8:59 – Seth, did you hear that? That’s my panties getting thrown across the room. To quote McCarthy, tonight’s the night. ;)

8:49 – Oh jesus, it’s reality time. I’m gonna go make a bagel.

8:46 – These comedic ladies are legends. Elaine Benes is the bomb. And Veep is a damn fine show. She’s so verklempt.. I love it. Even though Nikki is ready to throw her TV out the window!

8:45 – Edie Falco looks like LInda Hamilton in T2. YES YES YES YES YES JULIA LOUIS DREYFUS!!!!!!!!!!! #Anniepicks #Nikkisgonnabesosad

8:44 – Steven Colbert, are you trying to get onto my island? Not so fast there, buddy.

8:38 – Oh Melissa McCarthy, you are freaking geniuinely hilarious. Wait, JON CRYER. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? These awards suck ass. At least he was rightly flummoxed.

8:37 – Oh my GOD I am SO TIRED OF THIS MODERN FAMILY SHIT. ENOUGH!

8:33 – FUCK YOU, STEVE LEVITAN

8:31 – I’m wondering why I used to love Matthew Perry. Hmm. Definitely still loving Jimmy Fallon though. Desperately.

8:26 – ALRIGHT JULIE WE GET IT. YOU’RE LUCKY AND BLESSED. I’m gonna go throw up now.

8:24 – I’m not exaggerating when I say that Julie Bowen is the least deserving of every woman in that category (her dress is fierce though). How the fuck does this shit happen? Naggy wives on sitcoms are the worst.

8:23 – Oh Kat Dennings, you’re a goddess. Truly.

8:22 – I just need to say it. I really, really, REALLY wanna bang Jimmy Kimmel.

8:20 – Very deserved, my friend. Louis CK is a genius. And probably fucking rad as hell.

8:19 – Jim Parsons and Zooey Deschanel are adorbs.

8:13 – Well, if it had to be one of ‘em, I’m glad it’s Eric Stonestreet. Thumbs up to his speech. I love when people honestly seem grateful.

8:11 – Amy Poehler looks STUNNING. Apparently, divorce is agreeing with her. Oh fucking hell, Modern Family. Come on, Bill Hader!

8:09 – Oh here we go, although this comedy montage is actually cracking me up. Veep had better win. #Anniepicks

8:06 – Kimmel is doing a kickass job. He always seems so calm. Woah, a Luck dead horse joke. Jon Hamm simply CANNOT LOOK BAD. He CAN’T!

8:05 – I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Elizabeth Moss’s new hairstyle. AHHHHHHHH DOWNTON DOWNTON DOWNTON SIGHTINGGGGGGGG (Bates and Anna! Bon Bon!)

8:03 – Ellen and Jimmy and all those awesome people in the shitter: meh.

8:02 – Lena Dunham’s fearlessness is getting old. But her new haircut is CUTECUTECUTE!!

7:58 – Could they push Modern Family anymore? Gag. We hate that show and are going to be vocal about it, people. Please respect our free speech.

~Annie & Nikki

If I Had My Way… (Nikki’s Pick For The EMMYs)

Another year has passed, another season of television gone by and another round of Emmys to watch, criticize, celebrate and get indignant over.  That’s right!  The Emmys are on tomorrow night and yes, of course, Annie and I will liveblog during the show.  As before, we’ll begin about a half-hour before it does and refresh every time we have something to say (which is typically quite often), with the latest at the top.  Please stop by, leave a comment, offer your opinion and otherwise enjoy our ranting.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  We’re still a good 30 hours away and to whet your awards show appetite, I thought I’d give you a little preview by listing the nominees and my own personal preferences for winners.  As always, there will be disappointments, maybe even some massive let-downs, and hopefully a few surprises.  But, if I could have my way, this is what it’d look like:

Best Drama
”Boardwalk Empire”
”Breaking Bad”
“Downton Abbey”
”Mad Men”
”Homeland”
”Game of Thrones”

My pick: “Homeland”

Best Actor — Drama

Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”
Damien Lewis, “Homeland”
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”
Timothy Olyphant, “Justified”
Hugh Bonneville, “Downton Abbey”

My pick: Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad” (I’d also be totally happy with Damien Lewis of “Homeland” or Michael C. Hall of “Dexter”)

Best Supporting Actor — Drama
Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
Giancarlo Esposito, “Breaking Bad”
Jared Harris, “Mad Men”
Brendan Coye, “Downton Abbey”
Jim Carter, “Downton Abbey”
Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad”

My pick: Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad” (The fuck?!  Walton Goggins of “Justified” deserves not only a nomination but the goddamn win!!)

Best Supporting Actress — Drama

Archie Punjabi, “The Good Wife”
Anna Gunn, “Breaking Bad”
Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”
Joanne Froggat, “Downton Abbey”
Christina Hendrix, “Mad Men”
Christine Baranski, “Good Wife”

My pick: Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”

Best Actress — Drama

Claire Danes, “Homeland”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men”
Kathy Bates, “Harry’s Law”
Glenn Close, “Damages”
Michelle Dockery, “Downton Abby”

My pick: Claire Danes, “Homeland” (By far. Danes not winning would be the greatest injustice since O.J.’s acquittal.)

Best Comedy

“Girls”
“Modern Family”
“30 Rock”
”Veep”
“The Big Bang Theory”
“Curb Your Enthusiasm”

My pick: “Girls” (The show has balls, what can I say.)

Best Actress — Comedy
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Lena Dunham, “Girls”
Zooey Deschanel, “New Girl”
Julia Louis Dreyfus, “Veep”
Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”
Melissa McCarthy, “Mike and Molly”
Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”

My pick: Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation” (Poehler not getting this award would be a GREATER injustice than O.J.’s acquittal.  Seriously.)

Best Actor — Comedy

Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”
Louis C.K., “Louie”
Jon Cryer, “Two and a Half Men”
Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”
Jim Parsons, “Big Bang Theory”
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”

My pick: Louis C.K., “Louie”

Best Supporting Actress — Comedy

Miayim Balik, “Big Bang Theory”
Meritt Weaver, “Nurse Jackie”
Julie Bowen, “Modern Family”
Kristen Wiig, “Saturday Night Live”
Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family”
Kathryn Joosten, “Desperate Housewives”

My pick: Kristen Wiig, “Saturday Night Live” (Because “Modern Family” is tired and those bitches were never the funny ones.)

Best Supporting Actor — Comedy

Max Greenfield, “New Girl”
Bill Hader, “Saturday NIght Live”
Ed O’Neill, “Modern Family”
Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”
Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “Modern Family”

My pick: Bill Hader, “Saturday Night Live” (Fuck you, “Modern Family.”)

Best Television Movie or Miniseries

“Sherlock”
”Heminway and Gelhorn”
“American Horror Story”
“Luther”
”Hatfields & McCoys”
”Game Change”

My pick: “Sherlock” (“Sherlock!”  “Sherlock!”  “Sherlock!”)

Lead Actress — TV Movie or Miniseries

Julianne Moore, “Game Change”
Nicole Kidman, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Connie Britton, “American Horror Story”
Ashley Judd, “Missing”
Emma Thompson, “The Song of Lunch”

My pick: Don’t care.  Of these, I only watched AHS and I thought Britton sucked.  So, anyone but Connie Britton, I guess.

Lead Actor — TV Movie or Miniseries

Woody Harrelson, “Game Change”
Clive Owen, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock”
Idris Elba, “Luther”
Kevin Costner, “Hatfields & McCoys”
Bill Paxton, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock” (I love you, Idris Elba in a completely non-platonic way, but Cumberbatch deserves this.)

Supporting Actress — TV Movie or Miniseries
Sarah Paulson, “Game Change”
Francis Conroy, “American Horror Story”
Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”
Judy Davis, “Page Eight”
Mare Winningham, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”

Supporting Actor — TV Movie or Miniseries
Ed Harris, “Game Change”
Dennis O’Hare, “American Horror Story”
David Straitharn, “Hemingway and Gelhorn”
Martin Freeman, “Sherlock”
Tom Berenger, “Hatfields & McCoys”

My pick: Martin Freeman, “Sherlock” (Freeman not winning in this category will make O.J.’s acquittal look as undeserving as a pet adoption.)

Variety Show

“The Daily Show”
“The Colbert Report”
“Real Time with Bill Maher”
“Saturday Night Live”
”Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”

My pick: “Real Time with Bill Maher”

Reality Competition
”So You Think You Can Dance”
“The Amazing Race”
“Dancing with the Stars”
“Top Chef”
“Project Runway”
“The Voice”

My pick: The only competition worth watching is “The Sing-Off” and it’s not even nominated.   So, yeah, I could give a shit.

Reality Competition — Host

Cat Deely, “So You Think You Can Dance”
Phil Keoghan, “The Amazing Race”
Ryan Seacrest, “American Idol”
Betty White, “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers”
Tom Berengon, “Dancing with the Stars”

My pick: THIS SHOULDN’T EVEN BE A FUCKING CATEGORY.

Best Animated Series

“Futurama”
”The Simpsons”
“American Dad”
”Bob’s Burgers”
“The Penguins of Madagascar”

My pick: Don’t care.

See you tomorrow at 7:30pm!

~Nikki

London Olympics Opening Ceremonies LIVEBLOG!

London Olympics 2012

London Olympics 2012 (Photo credit: Andrea Vascellari)

It’s FINALLLLLLYYYYYYY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ve waited so long. We know it’s a Friday night. But cancel your stupid plans, crack open some Summer Shandies, and hang with us, as we revel in (hopefully) director Danny Boyle’s London extravaganza. Newest posts are at the top! Refresh yo’ page to stay current. :)

And here are some official links to check out for Olympic coverage if you need ‘em:

Official London Olympics site

NBC’s Official Olympics page

~Annie & Nikki

12:04 – And that’s all she wrote. All in all, a damn good show! Props to Meredith Viera for using a porn term, and Danny Boyle is adorable like a Hobbit. Nighty night peeps! Here’s to two weeks of Londonnnn!!!!!!!!!

11:51 – They should let a firework off for every “Na”

11:47 – Oh Hey Jude, I love you so damn muchhhhhh *cries* If that whole stadium is singing “na na na NA NA NA NA!” together I’m gonna die in my chair..

11:46 – holy. fuck. !!!!! I have literally truly never seen so many fireworks in all my life. Were they trying to burn London to the ground? That was amazing. And here’s Sir Paul, FINALLY…

11:44 – Oh my that’s gorgeous. (Culdron)

11:39 – I wish I was in shape enough to run around a stadium with a smile on my face carting some huge metal object.

11:34 – Chills. Chills. CHILLS!!!!!!!! Is it lame that I suddenly feel proud to be a human being? And grateful to be alive? #OlympicsMessesWithYourHead

11:27 – Me loves me some fireworks, me does.

11:20 – Flying Cyclists.

11:19 – I wonder if the Arctic Monkeys were scared to do a Beatles cover in front of a billion people including Sir Paul freaking McCartney.

11:17 – Ahhh yesssss.. Beatlestime. :=)

11:05 – DOUBLE GROSS VOMIT SIGHTING – LEBRON JAMES AND MITT ROMNEY IN THE SAME MOMENT. I have to go kill myself now.

10:53 – Sorry for the time-out….not much to say for this portion of the show :/

10:27 – How many nations are there?

10:02 – This kinda makes you realize how many people there are in the world… :/

9:44 – What makes a parade better? The Pet Shop Boys playing in the background.

9:43 – Olympics teaches kids geography.

9:40 – Don’t get much into Bond, but Skyfall looks sickkkk sexy .

9:38 – “Spectrum of humanity” = “cringum of cringity”

9:37 – Wish we could care more about the parade… #guilt

9:24 – Surprised Greece even made it to the Olympics! Considering they created them though, they should always be grandfathered in.

9:22 – It’s bugging me, what they are not showing during the commercials :/

9:20 – Wow, Michael Phelps is humble. #not.

9:19 – I can’t believe Ryan Seacrest is interviewing an Olympic athlete. He’s come a long way.

9:13 – Beckham doesn’t melt my panties the way he does for the rest of you, but he looks damn good on that boat. I’m on a mutha-f-in boat! Oh god, the Tower Bridge just looks incredible. Bob Costas is a stowaway?

9:12 – The way they’ve turned the audience into LEDs is blowing my fucking brain out.

9:11 – Oh gross yuck. Muse. Ick.

9:09 – Wow…..pretty sure no kiss for the rest of their lives will live up to that one.

9:07 – GREATEST. DANCE. PARTY. EVER.

9:07 – Matt Lauer SHUT UP I CAN’T HEAR THE EURYTHMICS!!!!!!!

9:06 – F YEAH 80S AND NEON RELAX BITCHES! #Ilove80smusic “Back to Life….”

9:03 – Queen, for the Queen. Man, I wanna wear a Bowie spacesuit and dance my ass off to classic rock.

9:00 – YES! Dancing!!!!!!!! Fucking Kinks rule.

8:59 – It’ll always take a long time to find a boy to match the charisma of a girl Meredith, always. *Sheds a tear*

8:48 – Oh goddammit I just want to be in a ginormous stadium in London feeling the summer air and listening to an orchestra and seeing all the lights and shit. *weeps*

8:47 – Mr. Bean, this is fantabulous! Doing an impression an American, obviously.

8:44 – Oh Christ, of course, American has to bombast my eyes with a “Back to FOOTBALL!” commercial. God forbid we stop being sooo “American” for a fucking hour.

8:43 – Yes Matt  it is creepy. Big, scary baby.

8:42 – Seriously, an homage to British literature, and darkly-themed? We are speech/breathless and moving to England at our earliest convenience.

8:40 – Mary Poppins x 50 literally just landed. This is like Christmas.

8:39 – ONLY THE BRITS WOULD DO AN ENTIRE SEGMENT DEDICATED TO LITERATURE, AND INCLUDE ALL THE VILLAINS. VOLDY!!!!!!! CRUELLA DEVILL!!!!!!!  This is fucking amazing.

8:38 – I’m crying. J.K. Rowling makes me cry when she speaks. I can’t help it.

8:37 – Awww, glowworms. JKR!!!! JKR!!!! *Hyperventilates*

8:33 – HAHAHA all the right-wingers are cringing and saying “America is ALWAYS RIGHT!!!” at this ode to national health care. WHAT A BUNCH OF WANKERS WE ARE!!!!!!! /End rant. You go England, with your national health care. *Jealous*

8:27 – P. Charles looks freaking happy as a clam.

8:26 – The Queen HAS to be cool, but she always looks made of stone! Oh GOD KATE MIDDLETON ARE YOU EVER UGLY?! EVERRRRR??!!!!!!!

8:24 – Are they seriously dropping the Queen in on a fucking helicopter with James Bond???? I am gonna go with no…..lmaoooo

8:21 – I say “future bedroom partner” and Daniel Craig pops on screen. Coincidence? I think not. Oh shit, james Bond and the actual Queen of England. !!!!!!!!!!! What on earth!

8:19 – Oh shit, THANKS INTERNET! tweet just popped up with a link to buy the music!!!! My future bedroom partner better get ready….

8:17 – This is NEVER GETTING DELETED OUT OF MY DVR BOX! Sorry for the all-caps guys.. I’m all worked up. ;) That was an outstanding homage to European history.

8:16 – OMG I JUST CAME. The rings are DRIPPING FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:15 – They are bringing us to climax holy christ.

8:14 – This music would be a great soundtrack to knock boots to. OH MY GOD THESE RINGS!!!!!!!!!! This is fucking brilliantly bizarre.

8:13 – This is so fucking weird but I LOVE IT!

8:13 – How much did this cost?!!!! It’s Anglophilia on ACID.

8:12 – THEY ARE FORGING A RING WITH FIRE!!!!!!! THE FIRES OF MORDOR!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

8:11 – Here come the Beatles. And the redcoats, and the Titanic, and god knows what else.

8:10 – Suffragettes! Thanks ladies! This music is banging my audio soul.

8:08 – Though we know they’re bad for you, cigars look cool. This music is so intense. SMOKESTACKS.

8:07 – They just put Kenneth Branagh into an ancient Star Trek transporter.

8:07 – Evelyn Glenny is channeling Professor Trelawney. This music is good.

8:06 – This could only be better if Ewan McGegor was in it.

8:05 – my buddy actually met Evelyn Glenny. Said she is a crazy, crazy lady.

8:02 – the aerial views are already exceeding my expectations. So, this is like a big history lesson?

8:00 – If they’re gonna get somebody to read a buncha Billy Shakespeare, might as well be Branagh!

7:56 – childrens’ choirs are magic. So is Wales, apparently. #goosebumps

7:56 – The Shire meets Downton?

7:54 – And it starts…children and explosive devices, rock on!

7:52 – WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS NEEDS TO BE  IN 3D

7:50 – Youth scandal alert: Nikki’s mom made her quit the gymnast game after catching her smoking outside the gym! #rebel

7:48 – Being an Olympic athlete must be like, going to the coolest summer camp EVERRRRRRRR.

7:48 – Nikki used to be a gymnast! #ThingsWeNeverKnewAboutEachOther

7:46 – I wish somebody would have made me play a sport as a kid. Are these gymnasts 12?

7:45 – The Brits are so full of pomp, we love it

7:44 – Can’t wait, Lauer….

7:42 – Why yes Matt, everything IS sparkling.

7:41 – PS: THANK YOU LILL & JILL FOR SUGGESTING THIS!!! Jolly good idea, dearies! ;)

7:39 – Keep Calm yes yes yes.

7:38 – Nikki is speechless. We want to go to there so baaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Shut UP ABOUT SECURITY AND THE SHITTY ECONOMY!!

7:37 – As if this moment couldn’t be anymore blissful, I’m eating Ruffles and Heluva Good! french onion dip. For those that don’t know, that’s my all-time favorite food, ever.

7:36 – Well London looks more goddamn beautiful that I even could have fathomed. *exploding*

7:35 – the BEAUTY!!!!!!!!! I’m going to either have an O-face or start crying.

7:34 – WOOPS we mean Ewan McGregor. Oh Christian *swoon*

7:34 – That James McAvoy speaking??

7:31 – Okay, I can watch it in another room *depressballs*.. this is dramatic!!!! This athletic shit is SERIOUS.

7:30 – Well…this is embarrassing…..torrential downpour is causing my DirecTV dish to not pick up the signal *dies* AT THIS EXACT MOMENT. WHAT IS MY LUCK.

7:22 – HI!! *bounces*

 

Special Alert: Olympics LIVEBLOG tonight!

London 2012 banner at The Monument.

London 2012 banner at The Monument. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Many thanks to our girls Lill & Jill, who had the brilliant idea for us to liveblog the Opening Ceremonies tonight for the 2012 London Olympics. Join us as we watch director Danny Boyle’s take on the highly anticipated event.

The show starts at 7:30 pm/EST on NBC.

Hope to see ya there! We are super-PSYCHED!!! :)

~Annie & Nikki

2012 Academy Awards LIVEBLOG

This is some seriously delicious berry sangria I am drinking

My house is packed, the spread is INTENSE (I wish you all were here, god knows I’ve got enough food for an army), and we’re ready to rant/gush!  Our latest thoughts are at the top of the page.  Hit refresh to keep up with the gab!!

  • 11:46pm That’s it for this year!  Thanks everyone for stopping by!!  Hope you had fun!
  • 11:40m Best speech of the night, hands down, Meryl Streep.  We hail you!!
  • 11:37pm I guess I’d better see The Artist!
  • 11:32pm Meryl Streep: the embodiment of elegance and grace.
  • 11:29pm FINALLY!!!!!!!  Yay!!!!  Meryl Streep!!!!!
  • 11:20pm I think we’ve seen the sternum of every chick in the Kodak tonight.  Well…except Melissa McCarthy.  Thank you, MM, for being a normal woman.
  • 11:18pm What’d I tell ya?  The Artist takes the house.
  • 11:15pm Man, there is some major ass-kissing this year.  Are they still not over getting their feelings hurt at last year’s Golden Globes?  It’s no wonder they have egos the size of small continents.
  • 11:12pm Hosting the Oscars should be Billy Crystal’s job, permanently.
  • 11:10pm No Little Sebastian???  Leslie will not stand for this!
  • 11:07pm R.I.P. Whitney and Colombo
  • 10:58pm I had no idea the Academy fetishized Oprah.  That woman should be elevated to god status already.
  • 10:55pm Aww, Meryl Streep.  Not loving the dress, but she is the epitome of class.
  • 10:53pm Well, that all but seals it, The Artist is gonna take it.
  • 10:44pm Were those coffee beans, or vaginas?
  • 10:42: Well, we’ve got a new drinking game. Why weren’t we doing this all night?!?!
  • 10:39pm OHHHHHHH WIN BRIDESMAIDS! Kristen Wiig looks gorgeous. You know what? They all do.
  • 10:31pm Oh Edward Norton. And Borat, you got blacklisted but you’re still in a montage. I HATE THIS MUSIC.
  • 10:26pm I can see so many of Angelina Jolie’s veins, I want to draw blood from them. And then wear it in a vial around my neck.
  • 10:25pm Angelina Jolie looks like. SHIT. Her elbow will CUT YOU.
  • 10:17pm Zach G is channelling Ron Swanson tonight.
  • 10:11pm Billy Crystal is really doing a bang-up job. Seriously.
  • 10:10pm SNOOZEFEST.
  • 10:08pm Angelina Jolie is HORRIFYING. HORRIFYING.
  • 10:03pm My Oscar party could ONLY be better if Christopher Plummer and Helen Mirren were ACTUALLY HERE in this room.
  • 10:01pm YAY! WHAT a fucking class act!!!! Oh Captain VonTrapp, you are the smoothest operator around.
  • 10:00pm Can’t wait for Christopher Plummer’s unbelievably classy ass speech :)
  • 9:59pm Melissa Leo’s dress is mother of the bride circa 1982.
  • 9:58pm Hopefully Melissa Leo is anti-crazy this year.
  • 9:54pm Is Emma Stone drunk? She’s cute as shit though.
  • 9:43pm I think Madonna and Gwenyth Paltrow are in a competition to see which could make themselves look the most like Gollum.
  • 9:42pm Is RDJ channeling Joaquin Pheonix??  I would totally watch “The Presenter.”
  • 9:39pm Cirque De Soliel, bitches.
  • 9:35pm I Love the Muppets!!!  I became a scientist because of Beeker for god’s sake.
  • 9:29pm  Drinking delicious berry sangria. Mmmm.
  • 9:22pm Bradley Cooper + Tina Fey is wrong.
  • 9:22pm That  focus group bit was great. GREAT.
  • 9:20pm It’s the Christopher Guest gang!
  • 9:15pm What is with the PORN MUSIC.
  • 9:13pm AWWWWWWWWWWWWW THIS IS CUTE X INFINITY standing O for O!
  • 9:10pm I wish Melissa McCarthy would win but it’ll be Octavia Spencer
  • 9:01pm Well, that “first picture I saw” montage was weird but kinda cute. I have no idea what the first movie I saw was.
  • 8:59pm I despise Meryl Streep’s dress. Despise. I’m sorry. Melanie Griffiths is trying to be Joan Rivers, apparently.
  • 8:58pm are you guys SERIOUSLY COMPARING ASSES. Iron Lady, homies I’m 3 for 3 I think…
  • 8:54pm JLO LOOKS LIKE SHE DID IN THE CELL AND HER NIPPLE IS ESCAPING.
  • 8:53pm this montage is SO. CHEESY. But I love it. I’ll have what she’s having.
  • 8:52pm MONTAGE TIME SWOON
  • 8:44pm Damn they’re just firing these off, aren’t they, and why is Tom Hanks BROWN.
  • 8:44pm Cinematography, first? Changin’ things up dawg
  • 8:43pm It’s hard to fill Jennifer Lopez’s seat. OUCH.
  • 8:42pm Billy Crystal has still got it.
  • 8:39pm Chapter 11 theater.  Even the Kodak theater isn’t immune to this goddamn recession.  Ugh.  Maybe all those 1%ers in the audience could do something about that.  Just sayin’.
  • 8:37pm Did you see John Goodman?  Have I ever mentioned I love him?  No, never?  Well, I love him.  Like, LOVE him.
  • 8:35pm I can’t stand watching Billy Crystal eat shit.  I just can’t.
  • 8:33pm Is this the villa???  I love Billy Crystal!!!
  • 8:22pm I love Jess Cagle. Also, I have subscribed to EW for like, 10 years. So, yeah.
  • 8:30pm FUCK NATALIE PORTMAN LOOKS PERFECT. WHYYYYYYYYY
  • 8:15pm We’re having sexy times, apparently. I hate Bullock’s dress.
  • 8:12pm Brad Pitt looks like Legends of the Fall
  • 8:11pm I really, REALLY, REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY don’t get Clooney and Kiebler.
  • 8:03pm Is Bradley Cooper gonna be in Miami Vice?? The fuck?
  • 8:01pm Another war: Nikki claims Cameron Diaz is a butterface, some of us say no. Thoughts?
  • 7:54pm Zach Galifinakis looks so damn cute with his beard. Why does everybody get to lose weight but me? Oh, cause I’m eating cheese curds.
  • 7:53pm NICK NOLTE. WHAT.
  • 7:44pm I’m over Manny. Sorry. Although no one else here is. There is much hate for Annie right now from the Manny lovers.
  • 7:42pm Oh god, just came. Thanks Colin!
  • 7:41pm We are having a battle over Tina Fey’s hair and dress. Some love, some hate. Thoughts?
  • 7:39pm Did Annie Mumolo lose like, a lot of weight? She looks KILLER FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! Woah. As I eat my cheese curds :(
  • 7:37pm A guest of mine just made FRIED CHEESE CURDS AND THEY’RE BLOWING MY MIND!!!
  • 7:36pm Melissa McCarthy fills me with happiness and joy
  • 7:34 What is this mom segment?!! PRECIOUS!!
  • 7:30pm Random tidbit: Ewan McGregor shows his junk constantly in films because he claims that since women are always nakey, he’s trying to make up for it. :) :) :)
  • 7:26pm Viola Davis’s hubby looks like an older Wayne Brady! Her dress: Love the color, not the bust. Even though her tits are rockin’.
  • 7:24pm Ohhhh Octavia Spencer looks gorgeous, as does Jessica Chastain…
  • 7:22pm HI!!!!!

~Annie & Nikki

2012 Golden Globes LIVEBLOG

I’ve got my glass of shiraz and laptop, ready to type/watch/squee/swoon/rant/rage/try not to take a bathroom break.Newest stuff is at the top o’ the page, peeps. :)

  • Well that’s all folks! The Descendants and The Artist took most of the movie awards. Still haven’t seen ‘em. Must change that by the Oscars! Speaking of… definitely liveblogging the Academy Awards on Sunday, February 26th. :=) Nighty night!
  • Han Solo is all business. This show is filled to brimming with people over the age of 60 who look damn good.
  • 10:49: Clooney, unable to lose. Also, second-most awesome comment of the night, telling Fassbender he could play a round of golf with his hands behind his back. ! snicker.
  • 10:41: Shit, there’s a little Jack Russel terrier up there. Awwww. The Artist is gonna sweep the Oscars.
  • 10:39: Damn, Jane Fonda looks stellar.
  • 10:35: Shit, Meryl wins ALL THE AWARDS, but how can you harbor any bad feelings towards her?? She’s so damn charming. I don’t even know what she’s yammering on about. I’ll never forget when she said she was from the Pleistocene era. Iron Lady, indeed.
  • 10:34: Sorry, laundry break. God, I love Colin Firth and I love Ricky’s introduction of him even more.
  • 10:18: Oh fuck you, Modern Family. You’re not funny anymore. (OH I JUST SAW CUMBERBATCH!)
  • 10:16: Salma Hayek’s boobs…. wow. I mean, like, I don’t even know how to type anymore right now.
  • 10:15: Yay for Scorsese! PS: Angelina Jolie looks like a bobble head, heroin addict, and robot had a three-way and in Splice-fashion, created a terrifying part-human creature.
  • 10:13: Is Clooney gonna bang Kiebler later?? I mean, how do they say goodnight?
  • 10:11: Here comes a blowhard equal to Gervais: RDJ.
  • 10:06: Morgan Freeman just rules. What a badass.
  • 9:56: Poitier reminds me of my maternal grandfather.
  • 9:55: I need Reese Witherspoon to be my life coach.
  • 9:53: Less awards — More RICKY.
  • 9:47: If it takes you 45 minutes to get to the stage, do they deduct that from your speech time? #OctaviaSpencer.
  • 9:44: Did not see the LeBlanc win coming. PS: Duchovny looks DAPPER. Ahem. I need to compose myself.
  • 9:42: Emily Blunt strikes me as so flipping awesome.
  • 9:36: I love that Madeline Stow is married to Sheldon. I LOVE IT. Also, totes love Claire Danes. She is truly luminous. Was Mandy Patinkin crying??? Awww shucks. That was a really nice speech.
  • 9:34: Dustin Hoffman, thank you for the awesome sarcastic comment.. Seriously. Your fucking spouses and children did NOT MAKE THE MOVIE/SHOW YOU ARE IN.
  • 9:31: Madonna is such a fucking cunt. Sorry, had to be said.
  • 9:27: I dont know what this whacked-out looking movie about whales is with Drew Barrymore, but I want to make out with all the whales cause they played the song Moth’s Wings by Passion Pit, a.k.a., one of the all-time greatest, most exhilirating, beautiful, wonderful songs, EVER. EVER. EVER.
  • 9:24: If it couldn’t be Maggie Smith, then this was the right choice. Jessica Lange DESTROYED it every week on American Horror Story. And also, can I please look that hottttt when I’m 62?
  • 9:23: Bill Macy and Felicity Huffman: Well that was fucking adorable.
  • 9:22: oh my aching god, I’m almost gasping over the hotness that is Clive Owen. HIS VOICE. Excuse me while I fucking twitch and pass out.
  • 9:21: You guys gotta see 50/50. It’s top notch.
  • 9:15: TinTin, yes, right choice. Well-done. Speilberg + Jackson = come on, are you SERIOUS. He’s always so damn earnest. How could a human being not adore Speilberg???
  • 9:10: “They had a right stick up their ass!” I love you Ricky.  “The Cloonmeister General.” hahahaha
  • 9:08: DINKLAGE! FUCK YES!!!! If they wouldn’t nominate Brendan Coyle for Downton Abbey, this is the next best thing. Also, the Dink is a STUD.
  • 9:02: I called Michelle Williams as well, but so did the rest of the world. Okay, I’m sorry, I don’t need to hear the story of motherhood and how it’s so fucking amazing and how you’re so grateful to your daughter for helping you to become Marilyn Monroe. For the love of Gawd.
  • 9:01: SETH ROGEN – BEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT. “I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection.” Standing next to the goddess that is Kate Beckinsale. I mean, she gives me an erection.
  • 8:58: Boo. No Bon Bon :( :( :( Sigh. Dude, Katherine McPhee tickles our gag reflex. Blech.
  • 8:57: BON BON! BON BON! BON BON!
  • 8:51: Madonna, looking gorgeous, but won’t stfu. Elton John was giving her daggers. Omg, I’m so uncomfortable when people won’t stop talking and THEY’RE PLAYING THE MUSIC JUST SHUT UP YOUR TIME IS OVER OMGGGGGOD. They don’t care if you’re Madonna!!!! I literally tuned out her entire speech.
  • 8:46: It’s Clive Owen! I mean Clive Warren! I mean Neville Longbottom! Also, Angelina Jolie is TERRIFYING.
  • 8:44: Jimmy Fallon, I’ll love you till the day I die.
  • 8:43: Popcorn + Sour Patch Kids + wine + furious typing = sad night for my keyboard. :(
  • 8:39: Man, I really wanted Game of Thrones, even if Homeland is excellent. :( So. Many. Excellent. SHOWS!!!!
  • 8:38: Update: Nikki just informed me that “Damien Lewis or Bryan Cranston deserved that wayyy more than Kelsey fucking Grammer”, so it appears we did give a shit.
  • 8:37: Kelsey Grammar. Hmm. As a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fan, I’m a little disappointed, after how he dicked over poor Camille. Regardless, I never made a pick for this category cause I don’t give a shit.
  • 8:35: I think Jessica Biel was totally just whispering about Ricky: “He’s like, so, like, not funny, ugh”…. I hope Justin cheats on her again.
  • 8:33: In somewhat surprising news, Nicole Kidman looks like Joan Rivers, and Madonna looks pretty. Bizarro Jerry.
  • 8:26: But.. she gives damn adorable speeches. And she looks like a real human being, albeit a fucking stunningly beautiful one…. who am I kidding, I’d switch teams any day for her. ;)
  • 8:25: Oh god, I adore Kate Winslet but she ALWAYS. WINS.
  • 8:22: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart is bursting. Oh my god, Hugh Bon Bon looks SEHHHXY!!!!!! Seriously, so fucking happy right now. AND I’M 3 FOR 3 BITCHES!
  • 8:21: DOWNTON DOWNTON DOWNTON PLEASE WINNNNNNNNNN…..
  • 8:20: It’s not their fault, but I really fucking hate the “Miss award” kid of a famous person. Random, pointless.
  • 8:14: YES! I’m two for two! Dern SO deserved this award. Believe me. And Nikki will love you forever for the Lucille Ball shoutout. :)
  • 8:13: Christopher Plummer just gave the nicest compliment to a spouse, perhaps ever given in the history of awards shows. “Her bravery and beauty haunt me still”.. Holy COW. Brits rule. What a class act.
  • 8:10: How is it possible that Jonah Hill now gets to have “Golden Globe nominee” by his name forever? Ah who gives a shit, CAPTAIN VON TRAPP FTW! Immense joy!!! Also, I just died from Ewan McGregor cuteness overload.
  • 8:08: There is no one in the world as hot as Johnny-fucking-Depp. Well, perhaps Mila Kunis…
  • 8:05: JGL – kisses! Helen Mirren is stunning, and “off the rails”…. bahahahah. Plug away, Ricky – we’ll watch every single one of your creations.
  • 8:03: Aw, Tina and Amy sitting next to each other. Holy shit, I wanna be their friends. OMgod Ricky is FEARLESS.
  • 8:00: OMG I LOVE seeing every single movie star on the Earth in a huge room sitting at tables together. #Loser. RICKY WE LOVE YOU!!!!
  • 7:54: BOO ON YOU Eric Stonestreet! You stole Mr. Bates’s nomination for best supporting actor on a television program, you jerkoff. And Sofia Vergara… I just… can’t. Nails on a chalkboard x infinity.
  • 7:46: Why did George Clooney bring Stacey Kiebler? Did I miss something? Is this real life?
  • 7:43: Dude, Tina Fey = smokin’ hot tonight! Get it! And Ryan Kwanten, petition to get Jason Stackhouse turned into an Aussie.
  • 7:41: Matt LeBlanc channeling Chris Columbus.
  • 7:36: Natalie Portman is so svelte and perfect and somehow recently had a child and her fiance is so hot and I must go off to chug more wine. :/
  • 7:33: Can’t not love Claire Danes. Is it possible to request being adopted by Will Arnett & Amy Poehler? Can you IMAGINE if they were your PARENTS????
  • 7:10: Mmkkay, Zoe’s dress is cray cray but I dig it. Laura Dern: love the color, not the long sleeves. Also, WHY DO RED CARPET INTERVIEWS HAVE TO BE SO CRINGE-WORTHY?! *Curling up in the fetal position from embarassment*
  • 7:02: ah, to start off the night, SERIOUS technical difficulties. Sweet lord NBC. Ever broadcast something live before?