Out Of My League Once Again

After a weirdly interesting conversation with my brother and my husband the other day, during which we discussed the “type,” as in, the type of person to whom one is attracted, I got to thinking: do the men I find most attractive have anything in common?  The answer: definitely.  The vast majority of men I’m most drawn to have dark hair and dark eyes.   Though there are a few exceptions, this is very much my MO.  So few fair-skinned, light-eyed men appeal to me but I couldn’t tell you why that is.  I’ve never had a bad experience with a blue-eyed man that might have biased me toward them.  There is no rational reason for my deterrence.  They’re simply not my cup of tea.  (Usually.)

I admit I find the whole notion of having a type bizarre.  Why should one eye or hair color have such weight anyway?  Why shouldn’t intelligence, sense of humor and shared interests be what attracts one person to another?  Of course, in the long run, those things far outweigh physical attraction.  But the initial “Is she pretty?”/”Is he handsome?” seems to be based on nothing but personal taste, which is founded on what?  Nothing.  Some obscure biochemical reaction in our brains that adheres to no logical thought.

For us women (I’m inclined to think this does not apply to most men), how strong our affection for someone is has almost nothing to do with physical appeal.  On several instances I’ve found myself attracted to a man after I’ve gotten to know him well enough to appreciate his humor and discover we have much in common, even if I didn’t think he was particularly good-looking upon our first meeting.  In fact, sometimes physical attributes may slowly become beautiful after getting to know a person.  I think this is why it’s not uncommon to see a woman who’s very physically attractive with a man who’s less so.  Though I, for one, rarely, if ever, see this situation in reverse.  This is reflected in our media as well.  Countless TV shows showcase a man who is overweight and/or average-looking with a woman in peak physical condition who is prettier than your typical lady.  According To Jim, King of Queens, Modern Family, 3rd Rock From The Sun (Sally & Don), That 70s Show (Bob & Midge), etc.  I loved Rachel & Ross, but do you think David Schwimmer would actually land Jen Aniston?  I think Michael J. Fox is super charming and cute, but in real life, do you think a skinny, relatively short guy like him would get a chick of Locklear caliber?  Even the high school shows portrayed this: Boy Meets World, anyone?  Cory and Topanga, seriously?

And the thing is, I honestly believe that a guy like Ross Geller or Mike Flaherty or Cory Matthews could possibly get one of those girls.  Really, I do.  If they had similar interests and were charming/funny/clever, etc.  But, and mainstream media backs me up here (a show featuring Roseanne Barr married to McDreamy would NEVER happen), finding plain, unattractive women partnered with men hot enough to rival Ryan Reynolds just doesn’t happen.  I’m not making any judgments here.  I don’t know why physical appeal carries less weight with women than with men and I’m not criticizing either gender for it.  I’m simply sharing something I’ve observed to be the truth.  And I’m genuinely interested in your feedback.  Do you think I’m speaking the truth?  Do you know any couples in your personal life who either fit or contradict what I’ve noticed?  Would you buy into a television series featuring a studly man in a relationship with a homely woman?

Tell me what you think.  I really want to know.
-Nikki

Women Is Losers

I have loved John Cusack since The Journey of Natty Gann and, like so many men, he only gets better with age.  Not that he wasn’t absolutely adorable back then, at the tender age of 19, but in his late 30s, and now 40s, he has ripened, lost the boyish charm only to gain a more mature handsomeness.  He may usually play the unconventional hero, but that only makes him more appealing.

Others who’ve ripened in their 3rd or 4th (or 5th) decade: Alec Baldwin, George Clooney, Ricky Gervais, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Patrick Dempsey.  What do they all have in common?  They’ve all got one Y chromosome.  That’s right, ladies, yet another way that nature gives us the shaft: men become more attractive, distinguished even, as they advance in years while we simply wither.  Let’s be honest, Clooney back in the days of Roseanne is nothing compared to Ocean’s 11 Clooney.  And Will Hunting isn’t nearly as hot as Jason Bourne.  As for Dempsey, anyone else remember Can’t Buy Me Love or Loverboy?  Who knew he’d grow up to be McDreamy?  While these men do nothing more than grow into their mad sex appeal, the ladies of Hollywood, who peak by 30-35 tops, are forced to surgically mangle their faces in a grim effort to keep up.  Just another of the countless ways Mother Nature really stuck it to the fairer sex.  That cruel bitch.

~Nikki