SNL’s Magical Bosom

I don’t hate SNL.  In fact, I still watch it on a weekly basis, always hoping for that one, special Dick-In-A-Box.  This past week’s wasn’t half bad, thanks in part to its marvelous host, Helen Mirren.  At 65 (!) she is the female version of Alan Rickman:  Sexy, funny, intelligent, a force of nature, relevant, skilled and talented actor, beloved, still smoking hot.  I really want to be this cool and fashionable and just all around KICKASS when I’m even two-thirds of her age.

The opening number/monologue was a short song sung by Mirren and most of the male cast, consisting of lines like, “Did you see Caligula? I was in the orgy scene!”  I enjoyed this, mostly because I want the likes of Bill Hader & co. to serenade me, tell me I’m hot and fun, help me change costumes, and hoist me onto their shoulders.

Tis the season for taxes, and the accountant to the stars skit was mildly amusing, if only as a showcase for celebrity impersonations.  Paul Brittan’s James Franco was a tad mediocre, and the joke about him having billions of jobs kinda fell flat; I have no clue if the average human knows that about him.  The Kardashians stopped in, which is usually worth a chuckle. Great line: “The Kardashians are in the black!”  “Usually it’s the other way around.”  Ouch.  Mirren and Hader did a bland Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton.

The Digital Short was pretty spectacular and didn’t get near the laughs it deserved.  An ode to Mirren’s cans?!  Best line, referring to her magical mammaries:  “They exist outside of space and time.”  Nasim Pedrad gets a booby-grab, and how she could do this with a straight face boggles the mind. “What’d you do today at work?” “Oh fucking fondled the shit out of a famous actress/Dame!” Good lord.  Kristen Wiig actually motorboats her.  WHY WOULD NO ONE LAUGH?!

There was a Fox News skit that ripped on how fear-mongering and inaccurate that network is.  I don’t know if people heard this but the tag-line for their talk-show was: “Coffee, smiles, fear, and terror.” I liked this skit for that line alone.  Also, Taran Killam is hot and becoming my favorite new cast member.

Weekend Update featured a hilarious James Carville skit (I really couldn’t love Bill Hader more) that claims he was raised by eels.  Kind of spectacular.  And, they manage to RELEVANTLY quote Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5,” TWICE.

There was a Hugh Jackman Show sketch that featured an awesome Gerard Butler impersonation from Taran Killam.  By this point I was totally wanting to do really bad things to him.  :/

The Underground Easter Festival ad made me laugh, and these insane, cracked-out, total hillbilly/white trash concert festival commercials always do, but only because I could seriously imagine this being hosted in my hometown.

Ripping on the new Kennedy’s mini-series, is The Roosevelts.  Mirren was Eleanor, and playing on the whole historical inaccuracies outrage, she’s the brains behind Hitler and ordered the bombing of Hiroshima topless. WTF?  This was outrageous purely for the heavy make-out scene between Mirren and Abby Elliot as Marilyn Monroe.  Has this women ever gotten this much play from the ladies?

There was a fake commercial for a penis-enhancing photo studio.  This was completely ridiculous, yet hilarious, and SERIOUSLY gave me the quivers for Taran Killam.  Have I mentioned this enough?

The final scene I feel like mentioning was a stripper sequence, which was stupid, and was mostly Jason Sudeikis grunting out stupid crap while the audience was waiting for Mirren. None of the girls did anything much but there were a couple of good lines.  Sudeikis’s DJ, describing Wiig’s dancer:  “They call her Lace cause she’s thin, white, and full of holes!”  Jesus.   Also Mirren’s “old stripper” would go backstage to “snort us some Boniva.”  Good times.

All-in-all it wasn’t great, but nowhere near the worst episode of the season.  Am I the only person who likes to watch the very end, when everybody is hugging and congratulating each other?? It makes me feel like I’m friends with everybody. 😦



One thought on “SNL’s Magical Bosom

  1. I also like watching it to the very end.

    I guess upon reflection it really wasn’t that bad. I love their underground ads…I’ve seen real adds like that and it’s pretty much the same thing; those festivals are filth.

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