You’re So Vain

Confession: I am an avid reader (mostly novels) and an unabashed lover of literature.  From Jane Austen to J.K. Rowling, Margaret Atwood to Sherman Alexie, from Kurt Vonnegut all the way to Suzanne Collins, I love the art of the written word.  I don’t have an extensive personal library, but the books I own are like precious gems I pull out once in a while to lovingly caress and flip through while basking in the subtle scent of old paper.  I get excited when I learn a word and then find uses for it in my own vocabulary over the following weeks.  I relish in carefully constructed sentences so loaded with imagery they make my skin twitch.

Language is a living, breathing thing, holding as much power and beauty as the sun and should be treated with respect, which is why it pains me to witness the way it’s becoming less a form of self-expression and more a thoughtless reflex with hardly any meaning.  So, I beg of you: stop using stupid, mindless euphemisms like bff, and please, spell out the word ‘okay’ instead of ignorantly jotting ‘OK,’ as if two capitalized letters are all one needs to create a word.  Have some fucking self-respect and write out t-o-d-a-y without the use of the number 2.  Does 2 really save that much energy and/or space, anyway?  Because you’re so busy and important, you can’t be bothered to use the correct letters in a word.  Or you’re so damn cute, you’ve cleverly placed a 2 where there should be to. Just so you know, it isn’t cute and, by no stretch of the word, clever.  It’s moronic and careless and makes you seem every bit as charming as Lindsay Lohan.

I’m not asking for a return to Shakespeare.  Just that we speak with purpose – you know, like we’ve actually thought about the words coming out of our mouths before we started speaking.  Anyone with me?

-N.

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3 thoughts on “You’re So Vain

  1. If Lindsay Lohan doesn’t get the max time in prison, that may place Nancy Grace of CNN back into rehab once again due to Nancy’s inability to manage her alcohol and drug problems again, plus being incorrect on the facts of most of the cases she tries to cover. Lindsay should get the max to help Nancy stay out of treatment and on the air so Nancy Grace can victimize even more real victims of crimes.

  2. I’ll be honest, I don’t think before I speak. Words come tumbling out before I can think about them properly. I’ve tried to self censor but I’ve given up. It does annoy me when people use all these silly acronyms and neologisms but it seems unfair to go after Lindsay Lohan. Poor girl has a messed up family and a hell of a lot of problems. I wish the press could just leave her alone to get sorted out.

    Perez Hilton is the one who really deserves the vitriol.

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