So Eat It, Just Eat It

I have inexplicably become wrapped up like a scallop in the crispy slice of bacon that is Food Network Star.  I’m not a reality show enthusiast, even though I do love to get my Top Chef on, and to my horror, several Real Housewives franchises (please don’t judge – I know this makes me “part of the problem”).  Due to the fact that cable channels love to air their original programming INCESSANTLY, I caught the first episode accidentally and was sucked in.

For the 7th season, Food Network hopes to find another “star” to host a cooking show.  But seriously, it’s kind of horrible and depressing.  Some of these people just seem like complete schmucks, and “cringe-worthy” plunges to new depths while watching these amateurs try to film promos for a potential show, or master the art of simultaneously cooking/talking/looking happy.  I know I couldn’t do it, but it’s SAD to watch as somebody who wants a COOKING SHOW realize they cannot speak in front of a camera.  Nothing like Giada De Laurentiis and Bobby Flay skewering your lifelong dream (pun intended 😉 ).

A couple of the more heinous contestants are painful/super entertaining to watch.  Alicia, who mercifully went home last night, could do nothing except spaz out and sob uncontrollably.  If Chris, the frat boy, says “Awesome!” in that terribly douche-y neanderthal tone ONE MORE TIME, I might puncture my own ear drum.  I don’t want to be a complete raging lunatic bitch though, there are a couple of people who are obviously doing better at this point (Penny, Mary Beth, Jyll), however I cannot imagine any of them with their own show.  Maybe that’s part of the journey, they’ll get better as they go along … ???  I never watched any season of this show before, and I can’t really imagine Guy Fieri NOT having a show on the Food Network, so what the hell do I know.

What I DO know is that this shit is hilarious, makes me squirm, and I keep wanting it to be Sunday night so I can watch another episode.



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