- People who dress their pets in Halloween costumes (Full disclosure: I hate pets dressed in any clothing. They are animals, not humans. They have fur, for fuck’s sake.)
- Any trick-or-treaters over the age of 17. If you have a full-time job and/or kids of your own, you’re too old to ask strangers for candy.
- Teenagers who put zero effort into their costumes but still come to your door with an empty pillowcase asking for candy. Black clothes and your dad’s hat do NOT constitute a Halloween costume. You have to exert some effort to earn your Twix.
- Absurdly overpriced but cheap-as-shit adult costumes. Even the rentals, which are pretty awesome sometimes, are outrageously expensive.
- Fanatics who insist on lecturing me about the innate evil of Halloween and how I should be careful or I could end up on the wrong side in the hereafter. Right…’cause celebrating Halloween is what’s going to do me in.
- The inevitable bellyache I get from eating piles of roasted pumpkin seeds. Why can’t I stop?!
- People in my neighborhood who hand out tiny toothpastes and toothbrushes instead of candy. Seriously? (Note: Individual packets of raisins and/or trail mix are tolerable but still annoying.)
What Halloween-inspired pet peeves irk you the most?