You know how, after the holidays, you feel exhausted to the point of collapse, bloated and cranky and eager to hibernate for a month or two until the sun returns and the snow melts? I feel that way right now…and Thanksgiving is still a week away. I’m tired. I’m drained. And the very thought of holiday cheers and mashed potatoes and apple pie makes me want to crawl into bed and pull the comforter over my head.
Why the lack of enthusiasm, you ask? I’m not entirely sure. There is no snow to speak of (thank god; I would surely descend into despair if there were), we’re still getting intermittent sunshine and, aside from starting the holiday season 12 lbs heavier than I’d prefer, the reasons for my disdain are unclear. Even to me. I guess I’m just not in the mood.
You know, the mood. The warm, sugary sweet coziness that fills your chest cavity like the innards of a chocolate eclair. That overwhelming desire to spend hours with your family, people you see every few weeks (or months) usually but of whom now you suddenly can’t get enough. Their jokes are funnier, their smiles are friendlier, their hugs feel warmer. You eat and talk and laugh and eat some more and talk for longer, for hours, and feel like regardless of whatever differences you have with these people all year round, right now said differences mean nothing. They’re family after all and what does that word mean if not that these are the people to whom you belong? The people who get you, who need no explanations or pretensions, who just like being around you.
This year, though, I don’t feel particularly gotten. And all the eating and talking and laughing sounds like work to me, energy I could spend sleeping or reading or staring at the newly painted walls of my “home office” wasted on the costly exertion of listening and sharing and smiling and pretending to care about the woes of others. When all I really want to do is curl up under a blanket with my laptop or my Kindle and pet my dog.
I’m desperate, folks. It’s time to pull out the big guns. To watch The Family Stone and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Maybe even Christmas Vacation. I need something to snap me out of it…or snap me into it, whatever. Something to remind me why the holidays are worth all the trouble.
Any suggestions? I need all the help I can get.