Every Year Is Getting Shorter, Never Seem To Find The Time


I’m a notorious list-maker.  In fact, every day, my need to make lists grows exponentially because the more I rely on the lists, the less my brain is able to retain any sort of thoughts.  This perpetuates the need to create lists, for if I do not, things would NEVER get done – the ideas would be lost forever.  I’ve got lists for everything:  To do each day, to read, movies to watch, gift ideas to buy for friends/family, to buy for myself, bills to pay, things I lent to people that I need back one day, it’s endless.

One of my favorite lists is my Netflix queue.  Why do I even have a Netflix account?, I ask myself, because I rarely use it.  I’ve had Barney’s Vision since September 12th.  I almost never stream, even tho I have a Blu-ray player that does that for me.  Two reasons I pay that bill each month:  I REFUSE to use Redbox, and to keep my beloved queue (Which is maxed out, ALWAYS).  So, I pay almost $20 a month for a fancy list of all the movies I want to see, and to track how many stars I rate films I’ve seen, since my ability to memorize if I even like a movie is diminishing as well.

My goodreads.com account grows exponentially, on a weekly basis.  Any time I hear of a book I’d like to read, BAM, to the t0-read list!  Yet how much do I actually read?  Only when I’m going to sleep each night.  I’ve been on the same page of Game of Thrones for a month, since I fall almost immediately asleep after reading one sentence.  This also allows for my Kindle to smash into my face.  Every.  Single.  Night.

My DVR memory is loaded up with films I’ve recorded that I’ve yet to watch, and I’m usually a week behind on TV shows.  I actually refused to leave my house this past weekend so that I could catch up on all that stuff.  You know, STUFF THAT DOESN’T MATTER.  (FYI: Mission accomplished!)

I’m to the point now where I retain almost nothing that I consume.  So consuming is becoming tiresome and my attention span dies a little more every day, which means I am now devoted full-time to just recording a list of all the things I want to watch, read, see and do, without actually MAKING THESE THINGS HAPPEN.  It’s a really heinous cycle, that I feel powerless to break.  Am I entering into the early stages of Alzheimer’s?  Am I a victim of the ever-changing times, where there’s more than EVER EXISTED BEFORE to consume, and my OCD-tending personality is overcome with the massive quantities of content, forever doomed to be lost adrift a sea of entertainment I’ll never get to experience?

And what about the joy to be had from RE-WATCHING things that you love?  There’s nothing like watching Clueless for the 987th time, or The Wedding Singer, or any other number of silly (or serious) films that you hold dear to your heart.  There’s something about relaxing on a Sunday afternoon with a close-friend-of-a-film, and how is there time to DO that, when you have to watch the 500+ films in your queue?  Or read the 200+ books in your to-read list?  Or watch the 65 hours backlogged in the DVR memory?  And this doesn’t include going to work, visiting family, not being a hermit, grocery shopping….

Scream Cropped

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To conclude this foray into crazy, another of my detrimental personality traits is serious hypochondria.  I’m usually convinced I’ve got a lurking blood clot, or a dormant deadly virus, or any other unbelievably ridiculous yet entirely possible happenings; so as of late I often wonder, “Holy shit, if I drop dead, I’ll never finish these lists.”



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4 thoughts on “Every Year Is Getting Shorter, Never Seem To Find The Time

  1. Pingback: I Got, Got, Got, Got No Time | ravingmadscientists

  2. Pingback: A Warning to the People, the Good and the Evil… | ravingmadscientists

  3. I love this post! I totally agree with the crazy number of lists – it’s insane. Some of those things I don’t really categorize as lists in my head, but that’s because I’m not really a list person. I’m more of a post-it girl. But my roommate is totally a list person, and I know she’d agree with all your comments on lists, and the fear that she’ll never finish them! I let her make the lists…they stress me out 😉
    Great post!

  4. So first off, I told you you really do need to seek help/medication for your hypochondria issues. So that would solve that.
    Alas, for the rest of it, I believe it is this–“Am I a victim of the ever-changing times, where there’s more than EVER EXISTED BEFORE to consume, and my OCD-tending personality is overcome with the massive quantities of content, forever doomed to be lost adrift a sea of entertainment I’ll never get to experience?”
    I feel this way, too. The other day I was watching a show and trying to remember what happened last week and I was like, “wtf, I don’t even KNOW,” fuck, I couldn’t even remember the character’s NAME and I was like, “I WATCH THIS SHOW EVERY WEEK AND I CAN’T REMEMBER ALL THEIR NAMES???” Ah it was HIMYM. I think that because there is so much, there’s not a lot of honest-to-God time to ruminate on things, and this it’s in one ear and out the other.
    I wish there were a solution to this, but sadly the only one I can think of is simply to consume less. It’s why I’m always so against adopting new TV shows each fall. But how does one do this? I wish I had an answer. Don’t forget all the music that needs listened to! AHHH!

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