Throw Your Hands Up At Me


Being a lady is not an easy task.  If I had a buck for every time I felt jealousy towards a male counterpart for not having to shave his legs, not getting treated like a dumbass by car dealerships/automotive repair shops/people at Lowe’s, not having to do a damn thing to look hot, getting paid more, getting more respect, etc., etc., ad nauseum, I’d be a trillionaire.  A good friend of mine posted this article to her facebook page, which just depressed the shit out of me, and then I watched Tangled, and then I watched this video, which cracked me up, but I am writing this ridiculous run-on sentence to let you see where my head is – these all got me thinking about women:  How we act, how we’re treated, and what our expectations are.

Tangled was a great movie – it was vibrant, beautiful (that lantern scene was CERTAINLY one of the most gorgeous animated moments I’ve almost ever seen), fun, sweet, and had a good message:  Even if you’re a victim of someone else treating you like shit, YOU are still responsible for allowing them to do it.  It’s up to you to change your situation.  But of course, like all Disney movies featuring fair maidens, there were some fundamental life flaws.  Did the lead character have magical “blond” hair that when cut, loses all its magic and turns “brown”?  Yes, and that hurts my feelings, since I’m brunette, bitch.  Did she end Disney pincessup getting married to the male savior character?  Yes, big fucking surprise.  Am I tired of hearing about women getting saved by men and then living happily ever after??  Hell to the yes yes yes and YES.

Disney movies do teach us a load of crap, just like JennaMarbles proclaims, but at the same time, all these gals come off for the first 2/3 of whatever film they’re in as super-independent, fiery, passionate; then at the end they find their prince and go off to be his wife.  So in one sense, Disney is showing us strong, awesome females, who have talents, skills (magic vocal chords, loves to read and is crazy-smart/witty, paints, whatever) but regardless of all that jazz, in the end it’s all about getting married, la da da.

I know how bitter and hostile this all sounds, and I know lotsa gals who defy this “norm.”  They’re way-awesome, have a way-awesome partner to share their life with, and this shit doesn’t define them.  But I also know multiple females who HAVE NO EDUCATION, have found cute, nice, successful dudes to take care of them, and are popppin’ out the infants like BBs, all the while, happy as pigs in shit.  This is fine and dandy, but is mystifying to me.  To the women in these situations:  How can you go through your life with nothing to fall back on?  What if something happens to your partner?  How can you be okay with NOT being able to support yourself?  To the men:  How are you okay with feeding and housing someone with no marketable skills?  If a genie came to me tonight and said, “You will meet a man with no job, no degree, and no desire to have one, and you will feed and clothe and provide him with a home and vacations”, I’d be all “Get the FUCK OUT, wicked genie!”

I worry way too much about what other people are up to, certainly, and this post is in no way meant to offend anyone who is a mother.  I’m not trying to undermine the importance of raising your children.  If you birthed them, please take good care of them.  🙂  This is about women (and men for that matter, cause I know a handful who should listen up) being able to take care of ourselves.  It’s of paramount importance!  Be who you are, like Disney tells you, and if you meet Prince Eric or Charming, or Philip (don’t forget Sleeping Beauty), it’s because you rock.  But if he treats you like you are a crazy bitch (because you probably aren’t – society, please go kill yourself for ruining us all), be like the Mandy Moore-voiced Rapunzel and remove yourself from the situation.  Only YOU are responsible for your life, and it’s easier to do when you can stand on your own two feet.



5 thoughts on “Throw Your Hands Up At Me

  1. There are so many things about this post that I find true. Although I know you feel I’ve done a dis-service to the brunette alegiance by highlighting my hair, I do feel disheartened that some bitch’s long blonde hair would be cut short only to turn brunette. Are we not just as pretty as blondes? What is that even saying? Where does a red head fall in that mix? Talk about a bunch of crap. Oh and wait…so does that mean chicks with short hair aren’t as attractive as chicks with long hair? Seriously? Are we really talking about this? I’m nauseated.

    Thank you for your fantastic definition of “gaslighting”, because I had no idea what that was. You know, I could give two shits if a man thinks I’m emotional, or crazy. In my book, his poor judgement takes him down about 100 notches in the “man” department. If a man were to tell me I am ANY of those ridiculous “things” you described in your blog, I would knee him in the nuts, just for fun. Don’t get me wrong, I love my man, he kicks ass. He also kicks ass because he never accuses me of ‘taking it too personally’, or ‘being too emotional’. If I want to fucking cry at an ASPCA commercial, I’m allowed to. If I want to have a coniption fit about the bitches I work with, I can—all without judgement. HOWEVER, I do feel the majority of men use that ‘too emotional’ bullshit as an excuse to get out of shit. I feel bad for the women out there that become brainwashed by this. I have never felt that the ‘cookie-cutter female mold’ (according to men) that you described applies to me. Or any of my girlfriends for that matter. Take for example: I have this completely gorgeous friend, who can sometimes be a little…well…ditzy. Nonetheless, I love her, she’s fantastic. She was dating this guy who had her CONVINCED she was too emotional. Time and time again she would tell her about her relationship problems, the mean things he would say to her, and she would CONSTANTLYsay things like “It’s my fault he treats me this way, I over-react all the time, it’s okay, it’s my fault” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THIS WHAT WE ARE RESORTING TO? barf.

    I couldn’t agree with you more about these women that lack the capability of supporting themselves. My mom was a stay at home mom, for which I was very thankful. But before she stayed home, she was an LPN. AND she kept up with her license until very recently. My dad was the major breadwinner, but my mom had her sense of independnce, and had somthing to fall back on in case the worst would occur. Anywho…these women who either #1 COMPLETELY waste their/their parents money on a degree only to practically shit out babies and do NOTHING with their intelligence, or #2 simply find a man that can support them and their uterus, and plan on doing nothing for themselves…..I just can’t stand it. Call it judgemental, I don’t care. I’m entitled to my opinion just like the rest of them. I pride myself in the fact that I KNOW I can take care of ME before I let a man take care of me. The assistance is nice, but I’m still very very much an independent woman.

    • haha, girl I love you. Also, how come you have like, 17 different names on here??? You always post as someone different. Anyhoo, I love everything you said. And yes, in Tangled, when her hair gets cut, it like, shrivels to a dead-ish, lifeless, brown little short piece that loses all its radiance and magical powers. SPOILER: In the end, she cut it all off and was a cute pixie-ish brunette, which should appease me, but does not.

      • Haha I finally made myself an account so I can post w/o being anonymous 🙂 yeah and brunette pixi cut doesn’t quite do the trick for me either.

  2. I’m very glad to finally know exactly what the term gaslighting means, and where it came from. I have an astrology book that talks about how certain signs go about gaslighting, and I could never quite pin ithe term down exactly. PERRRRSONNNALLLLYYY I’m fond of taking shit and taking shit and taking shit and all the while accumulating a roster of misdeeds and then reaching a capping point, using my way with words/superior brain power, and tearing down the other person as revenge/punishment for being idiot. That’s just me though.
    However I would like to state that I also participated in the male activity of No-Shave November. Of my legs.
    Are there any Disney movies with a Princess that don’t end in marriage? (Shit lions can’t even get married but Simba hooks up with like Nala, right?) Help me out here, cause I suck at remembering Disney movies.
    I think this is part of why Pixar movies are better. Nobody gets married in like Toy Story or the Incredibles or Finding Nemo, am I right? Those movies are about like, life lessons and stuff.

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