2012 Golden Globes LIVEBLOG

I’ve got my glass of shiraz and laptop, ready to type/watch/squee/swoon/rant/rage/try not to take a bathroom break.Newest stuff is at the top o’ the page, peeps. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Well that’s all folks! The Descendants and The Artist took most of the movie awards. Still haven’t seen ’em. Must change that by the Oscars! Speaking of… definitely liveblogging the Academy Awards on Sunday, February 26th. :=) Nighty night!
  • Han Solo is all business. This show is filled to brimming with people over the age of 60 who look damn good.
  • 10:49: Clooney, unable to lose. Also, second-most awesome comment of the night, telling Fassbender he could play a round of golf with his hands behind his back. ! snicker.
  • 10:41: Shit, there’s a little Jack Russel terrier up there. Awwww. The Artist is gonna sweep the Oscars.
  • 10:39: Damn, Jane Fonda looks stellar.
  • 10:35: Shit, Meryl wins ALL THE AWARDS, but how can you harbor any bad feelings towards her?? She’s so damn charming. I don’t even know what she’s yammering on about. I’ll never forget when she said she was from the Pleistocene era. Iron Lady, indeed.
  • 10:34: Sorry, laundry break. God, I love Colin Firth and I love Ricky’s introduction of him even more.
  • 10:18: Oh fuck you, Modern Family. You’re not funny anymore. (OH I JUST SAW CUMBERBATCH!)
  • 10:16: Salma Hayek’s boobs…. wow. I mean, like, I don’t even know how to type anymore right now.
  • 10:15: Yay for Scorsese! PS: Angelina Jolie looks like a bobble head, heroin addict, and robot had a three-way and in Splice-fashion, created a terrifying part-human creature.
  • 10:13: Is Clooney gonna bang Kiebler later?? I mean, how do they say goodnight?
  • 10:11: Here comes a blowhard equal to Gervais: RDJ.
  • 10:06: Morgan Freeman just rules. What a badass.
  • 9:56: Poitier reminds me of my maternal grandfather.
  • 9:55: I need Reese Witherspoon to be my life coach.
  • 9:53: Less awards — More RICKY.
  • 9:47: If it takes you 45 minutes to get to the stage, do they deduct that from your speech time? #OctaviaSpencer.
  • 9:44: Did not see the LeBlanc win coming. PS: Duchovny looks DAPPER. Ahem. I need to compose myself.
  • 9:42: Emily Blunt strikes me as so flipping awesome.
  • 9:36: I love that Madeline Stow is married to Sheldon. I LOVE IT. Also, totes love Claire Danes. She is truly luminous. Was Mandy Patinkin crying??? Awww shucks. That was a really nice speech.
  • 9:34: Dustin Hoffman, thank you for the awesome sarcastic comment.. Seriously. Your fucking spouses and children did NOT MAKE THE MOVIE/SHOW YOU ARE IN.
  • 9:31: Madonna is such a fucking cunt. Sorry, had to be said.
  • 9:27: I dont know what this whacked-out looking movie about whales is with Drew Barrymore, but I want to make out with all the whales cause they played the song Moth’s Wings by Passion Pit, a.k.a., one of the all-time greatest, most exhilirating, beautiful, wonderful songs, EVER. EVER. EVER.
  • 9:24: If it couldn’t be Maggie Smith, then this was the right choice. Jessica Lange DESTROYED it every week on American Horror Story. And also, can I please look that hottttt when I’m 62?
  • 9:23: Bill Macy and Felicity Huffman: Well that was fucking adorable.
  • 9:22: oh my aching god, I’m almost gasping over the hotness that is Clive Owen. HIS VOICE. Excuse me while I fucking twitch and pass out.
  • 9:21: You guys gotta see 50/50. It’s top notch.
  • 9:15: TinTin, yes, right choice. Well-done. Speilberg + Jackson = come on, are you SERIOUS. He’s always so damn earnest. How could a human being not adore Speilberg???
  • 9:10: “They had a right stick up their ass!” I love you Ricky. ย “The Cloonmeister General.” hahahaha
  • 9:08: DINKLAGE! FUCK YES!!!! If they wouldn’t nominate Brendan Coyle for Downton Abbey, this is the next best thing. Also, the Dink is a STUD.
  • 9:02: I called Michelle Williams as well, but so did the rest of the world. Okay, I’m sorry, I don’t need to hear the story of motherhood and how it’s so fucking amazing and how you’re so grateful to your daughter for helping you to become Marilyn Monroe. For the love of Gawd.
  • 9:01: SETH ROGEN – BEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT. “I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection.” Standing next to the goddess that is Kate Beckinsale. I mean, she gives me an erection.
  • 8:58: Boo. No Bon Bon ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Sigh. Dude, Katherine McPhee tickles our gag reflex. Blech.
  • 8:57: BON BON! BON BON! BON BON!
  • 8:51: Madonna, looking gorgeous, but won’t stfu. Elton John was giving her daggers. Omg, I’m so uncomfortable when people won’t stop talking and THEY’RE PLAYING THE MUSIC JUST SHUT UP YOUR TIME IS OVER OMGGGGGOD. They don’t care if you’re Madonna!!!! I literally tuned out her entire speech.
  • 8:46: It’s Clive Owen! I mean Clive Warren! I mean Neville Longbottom! Also, Angelina Jolie is TERRIFYING.
  • 8:44: Jimmy Fallon, I’ll love you till the day I die.
  • 8:43: Popcorn + Sour Patch Kids + wine + furious typing = sad night for my keyboard. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
  • 8:39: Man, I really wanted Game of Thrones, even if Homeland is excellent. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So. Many. Excellent. SHOWS!!!!
  • 8:38: Update: Nikki just informed me that “Damien Lewis or Bryan Cranston deserved that wayyy more than Kelsey fucking Grammer”, so it appears we did give a shit.
  • 8:37: Kelsey Grammar. Hmm. As a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fan, I’m a little disappointed, after how he dicked over poor Camille. Regardless, I never made a pick for this category cause I don’t give a shit.
  • 8:35: I think Jessica Biel was totally just whispering about Ricky: “He’s like, so, like, not funny, ugh”…. I hope Justin cheats on her again.
  • 8:33: In somewhat surprising news, Nicole Kidman looks like Joan Rivers, and Madonna looks pretty. Bizarro Jerry.
  • 8:26: But.. she gives damn adorable speeches. And she looks like a real human being, albeit a fucking stunningly beautiful one…. who am I kidding, I’d switch teams any day for her. ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • 8:25: Oh god, I adore Kate Winslet but she ALWAYS. WINS.
  • 8:22: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart is bursting. Oh my god, Hugh Bon Bon looks SEHHHXY!!!!!! Seriously, so fucking happy right now. AND I’M 3 FOR 3 BITCHES!
  • 8:21: DOWNTON DOWNTON DOWNTON PLEASE WINNNNNNNNNN…..
  • 8:20:ย It’s not their fault, but I really fucking hate the “Miss award” kid of a famous person. Random, pointless.
  • 8:14: YES! I’m two for two! Dern SO deserved this award. Believe me. And Nikki will love you forever for the Lucille Ball shoutout. ๐Ÿ™‚
  • 8:13: Christopher Plummer just gave the nicest compliment to a spouse, perhaps ever given in the history of awards shows. “Her bravery and beauty haunt me still”.. Holy COW. Brits rule. What a class act.
  • 8:10: How is it possible that Jonah Hill now gets to have “Golden Globe nominee” by his name forever? Ah who gives a shit, CAPTAIN VON TRAPP FTW! Immense joy!!! Also, I just died from Ewan McGregor cuteness overload.
  • 8:08: There is no one in the world as hot as Johnny-fucking-Depp. Well, perhaps Mila Kunis…
  • 8:05: JGL – kisses! Helen Mirren is stunning, and “off the rails”…. bahahahah. Plug away, Ricky – we’ll watch every single one of your creations.
  • 8:03: Aw, Tina and Amy sitting next to each other. Holy shit, I wanna be their friends. OMgod Ricky is FEARLESS.
  • 8:00: OMG I LOVE seeing every single movie star on the Earth in a huge room sitting at tables together. #Loser. RICKY WE LOVE YOU!!!!
  • 7:54: BOO ON YOU Eric Stonestreet! You stole Mr. Bates’s nomination for best supporting actor on a television program, you jerkoff. And Sofia Vergara… I just… can’t. Nails on a chalkboard x infinity.
  • 7:46: Why did George Clooney bring Stacey Kiebler? Did I miss something? Is this real life?
  • 7:43: Dude, Tina Fey = smokin’ hot tonight! Get it! And Ryan Kwanten, petition to get Jason Stackhouse turned into an Aussie.
  • 7:41: Matt LeBlanc channeling Chris Columbus.
  • 7:36: Natalie Portman is so svelte and perfect and somehow recently had a child and her fiance is so hot and I must go off to chug more wine. :/
  • 7:33: Can’t not love Claire Danes. Is it possible to request being adopted by Will Arnett & Amy Poehler? Can you IMAGINE if they were your PARENTS????
  • 7:10: Mmkkay, Zoe’s dress is cray cray but I dig it. Laura Dern: love the color, not the long sleeves. Also, WHY DO RED CARPET INTERVIEWS HAVE TO BE SO CRINGE-WORTHY?! *Curling up in the fetal position from embarassment*
  • 7:02: ah, to start off the night, SERIOUS technical difficulties. Sweet lord NBC. Ever broadcast something live before?

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29 thoughts on “2012 Golden Globes LIVEBLOG

  1. Pingback: Gratefulnessiness « Lill and Jill

    • Thanks girls!!!!!! Totally looking forward to it as well ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Although, am having an actual party with real humans in my house, so hopefully we can manage typing/not being asswipes/being fabulous hosts all at the same time!
      ~Annie

  2. Pingback: Horribly belated thoughts on the Golden Globes « The Road to Medical School

  3. I kept up during the commercial breaks–no idea there was a party happening in the comments! I agree, the two best comments of the night were penis-related: Seth Rogan’s erection and Michael Fassbender playing golf. Fan.tas.tic. I bet Tumblr is losin’ it on the latter.

  4. Ricky’s humor is actually justified this time. I don’t always like him, but this time what he makes fun of…well, they deserve it…or it’s well received. One of the two

    Well done hosting by him. His huge ego has been matted out for this event.

    • He is one of the best people I know of. Not many in Hollywood can say those warming comments to their wife whom they’ve been married to for 43 years.

  5. The interviews are SO awkward!!! I agree, I liked Zooey’s dress even though it was crazy. btw I’m sorry in advance if I leave a lot of comments on here because Ima have opinions on everything and I can’t wait to share ๐Ÿ˜€

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