Five Vampires Who Would Kick The Ever Loving Sh*t Out Of Edward Cullen

I recently rewatched the 2011 remake of the 1985 cult hit Fright Night and felt amazed (again) at how different, yet delightful Colin Farrell’s version of Jerry the vampire was from Chris Sarandon’s original.  In honor of that bad-ass fanged villain, I thought I’d compile a quick list of just a handful of other vampires who would rip Edward “forever-trapped-in-teen-angst” Cullen’s wimpy dead heart out.

1. Jerry the Vampire, Fright Night (1985; 2011): Obviously, the inspiration for this post deserves the top spot.  Whether you prefer the sleek and smoldering bloodsucker Sarandon gave us or Farrell’s more animalistic, even sadistic creature of the night, both would wipe Edward and his hippie “vegetarian” family off the grid.

2. Dracula, Dracula (1992) : many have attempted this role but none have owned it like Gary Oldman.  Seriously, who else could morph from young, passionate husband to ancient, decrepit vampire to young lover to wolf to demon straight from the fires of hell in just two hours? Though each transformation brought with it its own characteristics and certainly its own look, Oldman managed to maintain a mournful, restless spirit – far superior to the testosterone-driven vampires of late.

3. David, The Lost Boys (1987): I love me some ’80s Kiefer Sutherland and his manipulative punk-ass vampire David entertained me to no end back in the day.  Though barely older than a teenager at the time, Sutherland’s portrayal of the lost soul was cunning, wicked and artful, like a cat toying with the dumb bird whose head it’s about to rip off.

4. Marlow, 30 Days Of Night (2007): along with every other member of the nonverbal, bloodthirsty tribe who attacked the frozen town of Barrow, Alaska immediately after the sunset that would last 30 full days and nights, just looked scary.  Danny Huston rocked the role of leader of the pack.  His vampire is a true predator to humans – cold, calculating and remorseless.

5. Abby, Let Me In (2010): Chloe Grace Moretz balanced that blend of child-like innocence with a veiled pernicious nature perfectly.  She may look every bit the innocuous little girl, but she could take down the biggest, toughest of men, let alone sensitive, hormonal pseudo-vampires.

Man, I love an evil vampire.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s