Last week, the 2012 Emmy nominations were released and I didn’t even realize it. Some entertainment junkie I am, right? After perusing the list, I was overcome with equal mixes of joy, fury, and apathy. I shall share those emotions with you this evening.
- Very, very excited to see brand spankin’ new shows Veep and Girls getting Best Comedy Series nods. As I adore both, I honestly feel they deserve to be in this category, which is really saying something, since they only just finished up their freshman year. I’d like to see Veep win actually. It’s whip smart, hilarious, and filthy as shit. The trifecta of awesome.
- Every lady in the Best Actress in a Comedy Series lineup rules, so looking at the list makes me want to run jubilantly through a field. Despite adoring Amy Poehler, I’d like to see Julia Louis-Dreyfus win. Vice President Selnia Meyer is wickedly HIGHHHLARIOUS, while Leslie Knoppe is adorably hilarious. Wicked wins, always.
- Louis C.K. got nominated for the Best Actor in a Comedy Series, and I love it. As much as I cherish Alec Baldwin and Jim Parsons, what I do NOT enjoy is someone winning every. Single. Year. Share the love, assholes.
- I do not watch New Girl, but I gave up on Modern Family because I despise it, so I am rooting for anybody in the Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series that is NOT on the saccharine/annoying show about the asinine Dunphy/Pritchett clans.
- Blossom (Mayim Bialik) got nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series! Maybe there IS a god! Oh lordy I want her to win…Amy Farrah Fowler is one of the most bonkers/horny/hilarious/absurd characters on TV. Her nomination restores my faith in basically everything.
- The Best Drama Series is an insanely intense category – Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey (which stands no chance here, the poor thing), Game of Thrones, Homeland, Mad Men – how can you choose?! I faithfully watch Downton, Thrones, and Men, and confidently believe the latter is the best, but I know Nikki loves Homeland and I always hear Breaking Bad is one of the best shows on TV. One thing I know for sure: I bet AMC is like, super psyched with themselves for being so rad.
- I really love me some Michelle Dockery but I don’t know that she’s Emmy-worthy. It pains me to say that.
- Best Actor in a Drama Series sports both the Hamm and Bon Bon, but I know the others are excellent as well. I believe I’d be happy with any of these blokes takin’ home the gold.
- Holy fuck me in the ass, Mr. Bates, Tyrion Lannister, and Lane Price are all nominated together… *dies dies dies* *lady boner* I just… can’t. Truth be told, of those three, I think Jared Harris deserves it. Poor, poor, POOR Lane…his final episode will probably haunt me for years. But I do want to run away, marry, and give birth to little Batesbies, and I worship Game of Thrones, so… ’tis a hard choice. But they’re all excellent actors who play complex, interesting characters. Hear hear!
- Man, the Drama Supporting categories are tearing at my heartstrings. Anna, the Dowager Countess, and Joan Harris – together?! Be still my heart. Again, the deserved here of that trio is Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks, but goddamn, do I love all of these ladies.
- The Best Miniseries really stumps the shit out of me. Why are some of these shows considered miniseries? American Horror Story? Sherlock? They have multiple seasons. I don’t getttttt ittttttttttt. Regardless, American Horror Story is enjoyable, but it’s so campy I cannot understand how it scored a nod. I found Hemingway and Gelhorn to be more about the performances than anything else and I have not watched the others, although their spirits live on in my IMDB watchlist.
- RAGE STROKE ALERT: Why the FUCK did they nominate Emma Thompson for The Song of Lunch but not Alan Rickman? Are you KIDDING ME?!!! *Tells self to breathe* In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, The Song of Lunch was a BBC film based on a freaking POEM about a pair of former lovers who meet up for lunch. The entire, painful rendezvous is told from “His” point of view, here played by Rickman. “Her” (Thompson – you never know the character’s names) has moved on from “Him” to find happiness with someone else, marrying and having children. “He” is still single, bitter, and miserable, and proceeds to spend their meeting getting shit-faced hammered, gawking at the waitress, being a prick, and finally blacking out on the roof. Coincidentally, that’s how all of my romantic endeavors end up as well. Regardless, as much as I’m devoted to the goddess that is Emma Thompson, she didn’t have much to do here except sit and look bitchy/annoyed. Rickman tore it UP and gets ignored. Why??????????????????????? (Nancy Kerrigan voice, in honor of the Olympics)
- Benedict Cumberbatch better walk away with an Emmy for his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes. He OWNS that role. And I’d love to see Martin Freeman bag one as well for his completely endearing Watson, but he’s up against silver foxes like Ed Harris and David Strathairn.
I basically don’t give a shit about the other categories (reality, variety, and kiddo shows), so, sorry if you wanted to know who I thought would take home the best Reality Host award. What baffles me is how they’ve managed to split reality shows into THREE DIFFERENT CATEGORIES. If that’s not a sign of the coming of the Apocalypse, I don’t know what is.