I was gonna write a review of the mediocre new flick The Words but came across this little nugget of awesome during my endless daily interwebz surfing and figured it deserved some recognition.
I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this ’round these parts but I’m a huge Star Trek fan (Trekker, Trekkie, whatever the hell you want to call me, I’m cool with it). Star Trek: The Next Generation, to be exact. So yes, my favorite Captain is Jean-Luc Picard, played by the elegant, the Shakespearean, Professor freakin’ X: Sir Patrick Stewart. (I have planned on writing a Star Trek-love post, but it’s on that back-burner, which is probably going to start a grease fire soon, as it’s overloaded).
The point of this post is based on the fact that last week, I discovered this classy Brit has a freakin’ Twitter account. @SirPatStew. And he actually tweets, like, a lot. Well, this evening he tweeted this hilarious (and TRUE) fortune cookie wisdom-bomb:
OMG and LOL, am I right? The fact that a Starfleet Captain, X-Man, and intellectual Brit could also be getting butt-fucked by the same Time Warner Cable succubus Beelzebub that has sodomized me many a time, is like, beyond comprehension. I thought famous people didn’t have to deal with cable companies??! They had some sort of upper-tier level package that mere commoners just aren’t privy to? I guess, the answer is NO, this company is SO FUCKING SHITE they even treat famous celebs like trash. What makes this EVEN BETTER are the HILARIOUS responses the man (and TWC) have received about this. I wish I could make a scrapbook. But since that ain’t happening, and screen-capping gets old after a while, I’ma copy and paste some of my favorites below. Feast, my friends, upon the wit (FYI: some of this shit will only make sense to other Trekkies):
- “Pat, DM me if you want a quick primer on bittorrent. Problem solved.”
- “So the borg couldn’t end you, but a day and half with TimeWarner and suddenly resistance is futile.”
- “Even Captain Picard! RT”
- “And this is coming from a man who played a man who beat the Borg.”
- ” even worse,
@twcable_nyc then asked if you saw 5 lights…”
@TWCable_NYC Do you realize that geek god @SirPatStew just tweeted displeasure with you? Might want to get on that.”
- “They wouldn’t “Make it So”???”
- “Ferengi network. Not surprising.”
@SirPatStew You just caused a @TWCable_NYC public relations person to lose the will to live.”
- “My sympathies, but at least they treat all of us (those who have been knighted and those who haven’t) the same way!”
- “So if the Borg had really wanted to win, they should have had a Time Warner Cable representative?”
- “DirecTV. Make it so.” <—–My personal favorite, as I love my DirecTV. 🙂
- “Shouldn’t have left the Enterprise; Earth sucks sometimes.”
- “Unfortunately I fear we have a long way to go before we get the efficiency of the Enterprise.”
- “Hook a captain UP”
- “Don’t give up! They cannot break you! There are FOUR lights! :-)”
- “so this is how Marvel kills off Professor X :(“
- “That’s the saddest (most depressing) tweet I’ve ever seen from a starship captain.”
And that has been your Captain Picard interlude for the evening.