My random, rambling, errant thoughts on last night’s Emmy’s broadcast.
The opening number was stupid. Jane Lynch is lovely, classy, joyful, and a blast to watch, but who writes this shit? It is so gaggy and lame to view just sitting on my couch, I can’t imagine what all the “cool” hollywood people think as they’re forced to watch that crap, like the Clockwork Orange. Also, the EmmyTones? Are you fucking kidding me? What a great group of actors, singing the stupidest things ever, to awkward silences and forced claps. How they even managed to stand up there and get the words out, I’ll never know. *Shudder*
How fun to get to watch Modern Family sweep the first 20 minutes of the show. Gag me as Steve Levitan talked about his kids walking in on him and his wife “doing it” and how that was inspiration. It came off as smug and creepy. Listen, it’s a good show. I watch it, I laugh. But it’s not the best comedic show on television, goddammit. In my well-informed opinion (I faithfully watch every nominee), Parks & Recreation was the most consistently funny, crazy, awesome comedic show this past year. The others are all gravy, but P&R blew it out of the park. Oh, oh, and somehow Phil and Claire Dunphy BOTH get to win?!?! Those two characters are annoying as shit, stupid and lazy, and my least favorites on the show. I do not think they’re the best male and female comedic supporting actor/actresses on TV. Julie Bowen’s physique is terrifying, and while Ty Burrell sure seems like a swell guy, nobody makes me laugh like Jane Lynch and Eric Stonestreet.
For Lead Actress in a Comedy series, I loved how all the ladies stood up onstage together. All I could think was that I wanted to hang out with them. Martha Plimpton’s dress was FANTABULOUSO and damn did she wear it well. I was also a huge fan of Laura Linney’s black shirt-dress, I thought it was flattering and sexy. It was really adorable to watch everybody be so happy for Melissa McCarthy for her surprise win (pretty sure she mouthed ‘holy shit’ when her name was called) and while I do really freakin’ love her (shout out to Sookie!), didn’t they kinda give this to her cuz of Bridesmaids? Is Mike and Molly really that great? (I don’t watch it, so my judgement here is completely crap – feel free to let me know if I’m wrong)
Charlie Sheen time-out! WTF? He seemed well put together, and like he meant what he said, but oh holy shit seriously?! Dude, you talk about drinking tiger blood and how you’re a warlock and then you’re all normal, wishing CBS well?? HUH? I’m confused.
Jim Parsons MORE THAN deserves his award, in my Big Bang Theory-lovin’ opinion. Sheldon is one of the most original, insane, awesome characters on TV and he’d be nothing without Parsons’ delivery.
Peter Dinklage is awesome, he’s my favorite male character on Game of Thrones. His speech was great; I got a little teary when he told his wife how much he loved her and that she was awesome. I know these people are winning an award for acting, so who the hell knows if they mean it, but hearing them profess their love always gets me all weepy.
Julianna Margulies doesn’t need to keep winning for The Good Wife, if only so we don’t have to keep hearing her thank her “spectacular” husband for the umpteenth time. I am going to start throwing up on instant sight of her. (Random love professions are sweet – see: Dinklage. Incessant, bi-yearly gushfests are nasty – see: Margulies) Biggest snub of the night was not giving the Lead Actress in a Drama to Connie Britton. Why not do another hubby/wife winning duo and give it to Coach Eric AND Tami Taylor? A gross error.
And on to Coach Eric, ah, Kyle Chandler, you wondrous creature. I had goosebumps and got teared up when Drew Barrymore and the new Charlie’s Angels (one of whom was Minka Kelly, a former FNL cast member) were so flipping excited and screamed his name, that was cute as shit. He was clearly stunned, so gobsmacked that he forgot to thank his real life and on-screen wives, but I can’t care cause he’s amazing and adorable and perfect in every way, I’m-sure of it. *flashes crazy grin*
As much as the young guys singing “Hallelujah” did a beautiful job, it was awkward to have people singing live during the in memoriam. 
Definitely want to have sex with Jeremy Piven. *Shiver*
Can I just say how HAPPY I AM that Downton Abbey was recognized?! Shit you guys, that show was AWESOME! Do yourself a favor and watch it. While I’m at it, also the Masterpiece Sherlock Holmes with Benedict Cumberbatch and my lovely little British Bilbo hubby Martin Freeman. (PBS is da bomb, ya’ll) I wish I could have seen the Entourage guys hand Minerva McGonagall her award for Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries though. 😦 But dammit, I was happy Maggie Smith won, cause she was delicious as the Dowager Countess. Mental note: Need to start saying “Dowager” more often.
Also, Kate Winslet is incapable of NOT being goddess-like. What does one have to do, to become so fabulous? I couldn’t love her anymore unless she had given birth to me.
Random scary moment: What the FUCK was with the Lonely Island montage/medley? I just don’t understand the reasoning there…. it was so, so batshit, and in a scary bad way. I felt awful for Michael Bolton, I was so humiliated, I could hardly look at the screen. I don’t understand why they needed Ed Helms to play Justin Timberlake, and there was a huge American flag, and Akon, singing the “I Just Had Sex” song…it seemed like what would go on in a crackhead’s brain. Woof.
Final thoughts: Sweet Christ, I watch a lot of TV.
~Annie
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